Who is our Worship for?

Who is our worship for? Seems like a silly question, huh. Of course, it is God! But is it really?

How many times have you been in church during worship and just not "felt it". How many times have you thought, "I just don't like this song" and tuned out or changed the radio station? The question I've started asking myself is, does it really matter if I like the song or not? All that really matters is if God is enjoying the worship of His people, right? It is easy to loose sight of that though. Worship is for God, not for us.

I bring this up because tonight I was at our local house of prayer and something happened to drive this point home. We had an hour of worship and then a speaker. She mentioned a story about someone coming up to her at a conference worried that they were going to offend her. You see they had not liked the style of worship the night before and the woman wanted to tell her but was worried that she would be offended. Joni's response was, "Oh that! I'm not offended. It's not big deal, because the worship was for God not you."

Joni's story about this really hit home for me because although I love worship, I find it difficult for me to focus on God at times. You see I'm very self conscience when I'm around others during worship. I don't have a very good voice (in fact when singing in the car I turn up the radio loud enough so I can't hear myself!) I'm always worried about disturbing others with my voice. I know God enjoys all of our worship, regardless of our singing ability, but it is hard to remember that at times.

Tonight though my doubts came regarding the raising of my hands. You see I'm also self conscience about that. I'm afraid I'm going to stand out and people are going to stare at me or something. I know deep down if they are truely worshiping God (which is what I'm supposed to be doing) they won't even notice me (or my voice or my hands!) because their focus is on God. What was really funny about tonight though is that everyone there had their hands up. So really I stood out more by not putting my hands up! But that little voice the enemy has planted in my head was telling me I was not sincere and would be just doing it to fit in. If I raised my hands everyone would know I was a "fake".

So I started praying and God immediately revealed to me how I was allowing the enemy to put the focus on me instead of on God. Boy, did that humble me! In addition, God told me my problem was not that I was not focusing on Him so much as it was I was not willing to surrender to him. You see, I don't think raising hands to God in worship is weird. In fact I think it is beautiful. I love to see people totally abandoned to God in worship, raising their faces and hands to heaven in praise. I imagine that is what David looked like when he danced through the streets and sang the Psalms he wrote. That is what Miriam looked like when she danced and sang to the Lord when the Israelites were delivered out of Egypt. But the enemy has planted lies in my head about me doing those things. That however is a whole other issue I could write about for months.

In the end, God told me I needed to surrender to Him. To not be afraid to give up control (because to be honest, I'm not really the one in control anyway.) At one point tonight I was able to do that and without even realizing it I raised my hand to the Lord and truely worshiped. Now that is not to say that I have it all figured out now. It did not last for the rest of the worship time. At one point those lies of the enemy raised their voice again and I lowered my hands and my focus went back to me. But I did get a taste of surrendering to God and it was beautiful! Now that I've experienced it I can strive for that next time. Each time it will get easier to disregard those voices in my head and to surrender to and focus on God instead of me.

The other amazing thing that happened though is the picture I received. You see, I'm a visual person and the Lord often speaks to me by giving me pictures. I wish I could paint because they are so beautiful. Tonight for that period of time I surrendered to God and truely worshiped Him, He gave me a picture. Actually it was more of a video, I guess.

As I stood there with my eyes closed and my hand raised (yes, it was only one this time!) I felt a breeze blow across those assembled there in worship. In my mind I could see all of us there with our hands and faces raised to heaven and could feel the Holy Spirit amoung us in that breeze. It was like a mighty but gentle wind. Then above our hands I saw Jesus dancing. He was weaving in and out between our upraised arms with his head thrown back in joyous laughter and his arms out. He was dancing and basking in our praises of worship and love. What an awesome picture.

So my question to you (and myself from now on) is when you worship, who is your worship for? Are you focused on God or are you focused on you? Do you see Jesus dancing around you in joy, basking in your praises? I know I don't nearly as often as I want to.

Unfailing Love

The Lord showed me these verses last night and I just feel the need to share them with all of you as well as words from a song I heard.

You are still Sovereign, even when the darkness surrounds me.
(from a song I heard last night)

Verses the Lord gave me:

Psalm 143:6-8

I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

BibleMap.org

I've started this new thing called "Stumbling". While doing so I've come across the following website which I think it really cool and I'm adding to my resources on my sidebar.

Bible Map

You can choose any book of the Bible and chapter and see on a map where the passage is referencing. I have always loved maps (I used to draw maps of islands I would make up as a child and I also used to love drawing floorplans of our house!)

Check it out. It would be great for research, but also is just fun to play with.

If you want to see other great sites I've stumbled across click on the My StumbleUpon Page logo/link on the sidebar.

Whatever it Takes

Last week Dineen wrote an article at Spiritually Unequal Marriage called The Most Dangerous Prayer. That same day I journaled about this. I've been feeling the Lord's prompting to share this with my blog readers.

At first I resisted (which is why it is a week later and I'm just now posting this.) I argued that this is just something too personal for me to share. Then the Lord reminded me how I am at times frustrated and lonely feeling because I think I'm going through things that others are not. We keep these "private" things hidden from the world and so many times we may be going through the same things, but thinking we are in it all alone. Yes, we have God. But He created us for fellowship with one another and tells us to bear one another's burdens.

So with that said, here is the prayer I journaled that day and the response the Lord gave me. I pray it gives someone else comfort, peace and the courage to step out in faith.

I strongly recommend you read Dineen's post first The Most Dangerous Prayer

Father,
I am falling to my knees asking what I have always been afraid to ask in the past. Asking for the one thing that matters more to me than anything else aside from You. I'm completely surrendering my husband to You, trusting in You fully to take us both through whatever lies ahead. Lord, I am asking that You do whatever it takes to bring my beloved to saving knowledge of You, to a full relationship with You as his Lord and Savior

These are the verses the Lord gave me in response to my prayer

Ephesian 3:16-19
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

When One is Enough

When One is Enough

I came across this article through another blog tonight. Even knowing how much the enemy has deceived and twisted this nation's views of life, this article still amazes me. I was horrified and have no words to describe how this makes me feel, other than it brings me to my knees to cry out for mercy from our Lord.

This article shines the light on how we as a nation have become so centered on ourselves. Please be warned this is disturbing. I hate to be so harsh, but the bottom line is this - abortion is NOT about a choice, no matter how you want to try to "logically" think it through. Abortion is the murder of innocent, defenseless babies.

This is a real article about a woman who finds out she is pregnant with triplets and decides three babies would be too inconvenient. Now I will admit, having triplets would be overwhelming, however that does NOT give us a reason to take a life.

My youngest child was not a planned pregnancy. We had two children, one girl and one boy. That was what I had always wanted, we were done having children. However, just before Austin turned one we found out we were pregnant again. Yes it was overwhelming! Yes it still is overwhelming at times! However, Jesse is a precious miracle blessing for us and we love him dearly. We can not imagine our lives without him. He is a human life, a blessing from God. Period. Only God has the right to determine when that life ends, not me. And especially not in order to make things "easier" for me.

Pro-Life Sites

As some of you may noticed, the silent cries of aborted babies has been heavy on my heart lately. This is actually something that has been on my heart for many years. As I've become a mother myself (I have three little darlings) and miscarried once, this has become an even heavier burden for me.

I've been looking into different organizations/movements lately as I feel the Lord leading me to take a more active stand. I believe we should take a stand for the Lord, however we must be careful not to be "in your face" obnoxious. That never changes anyone's minds and in the end, the only real way to end abortion is not to change the laws, but to change people's hearts. (Don't get me wrong, I want the laws to change, but realistically I know this will not end the killing of innocent lives).

Here are some sites I've come across lately that I wanted to share with each of you which I will be adding to my sidebar.

Bound4Life
This is the movement I wrote about awhile back. It is a grassroots movement that does silent sieges and is actively praying for the Lord to end abortion and change people's hearts.

Operation Outcry
This is a project "to end legal abortion by exposing the truth about its devastating impact on women and families" They are dedicated to exposing what they believe are the two largest lies regarding abortion. That it is safe for women and that it is not a baby being aborted. They are working to accomplish this through prayer and the testimonies of mothers who have been affected by these lies. This is a project of the Justice Foundation. (Thank you Carla for this link!)

A Cry Without A Voice
This site is still under construction, but you can read more about it here until the site is up and running. This is led by a women named Rebecca Porter. Mothers who have aborted their babies choose a pair of baby shoes and attach a card of commemoration. These shoes have been on display in the US, Israel and Holland. When I read this page and saw the picture of the shoes and card Rebecca did for her son, I wept. We've been told so many lies about how abortion is a choice that harms nobody. We can't even begin to imagine the extent of the damage physically, emotionally and spiritually that is caused by this "choice".

Abort73
This is a bit more "in your face" than the other sites, but I'm listing it because it has some very valuable information regarding the truth behind abortion and what it really is. Please be aware there are some very graphic images and information on this site, however I think it is information we all really need to be aware of.

If you are aware of other noteworthy sites, please let me know. I'm going to start a "Choose Life" Resources section on my blog.

Bella - Pro Life Movie

Bella is the first movie produced by Metanoia films whose mission is "to make movies that matter and have the potential to make a meaningful difference in people's lives." This film which has a powerful pro-life message has received the top prize at the "Toronto Film Festival, Peoples Choice Award.

Even with all the acclaim and the praise from critics, this movie is not being widely shown and is receiving a bashing from pro-choice individuals/groups and Planned Parenthood activists.

This movie needs our support. I'm including the official website for the movie where you can watch the trailer and see which theaters the movie is being shown. You can also find more information on how you can support the movie.

Bella - Official Movie Site

I plan to go see the movie and I'll let you know what I think afterwards. But if you get a chance to go before me, please let me know what you thought of it.

Seeds Planted

My previous post was regarding what the Lord taught me this past weekend at a Children's Conference. If you have not already read that post, please do so. This one will make more sense.

Beginning Monday morning I started getting up early in order to have a short devotional time with my daughter each morning. The original plan was to pray, spend time quietly listening for God and reading the Bible for about 15 minutes each morning. I figured we would start small and God would increase our desire. Each day has ended up being between 20 and 30 minutes.

This is teaching me to be patient because Tyler does not always respond the way I think she should. However, I am already amazed at how fast she is growing just over the past four days and her response has encouraged me. She still does not want to pray herself so I do the praying. It has been hard to back off and not try to force her to pray. But instead I've prayed and then after had her spend some time just being quiet listening for God to speak to her.

So far she has told me that God has told her that He is always with her, always watching over her and loves her more than anything in the world.

I've also found some great books that have stories from the Bible at her reading level with great illustrations. I read the scriptures from my Bible, she reads the book and then we talk about what is means. I don't just explain it to her, we talk through it together! It is amazing what she understands and seeing her perspective on things. (Visit my My Life blog for more information on the books, I'm going to do a post there on them.) So far we been going through one about stories Jesus told. This includes the one about not hiding your light, storing your treasures in heaven, and building your house (life) on the Rock of Jesus and God's Word.

However, this morning was the most encouraging. Tyler did not have school because they are doing parent/teacher conferences (she's doing great in school by the way!) So this morning I got up and figured I would do quiet time with her tonight instead of in the morning. I was going to let her sleep in. I went into the kitchen to get my coffee and heard a quiet voice behind me ask, "Mommy, aren't we going to have our quiet time today?"

That warmed my heart so much!!! And not only does she seem to be figuring it out, my days are starting out so much better. I can see a difference throughout my entire day, just because my perspective at the beginning of the day has shifted.