His Love / Our Darkness

Awhile back, someone I know had shared about how they were going through a phase right now where God is revealing to them what they look like, who they are, without His Grace to cover them. He said he had actually been asking the Lord to show him this and he talked about how the Lord showing him this would put him on his face in front of the Lord, weeping.

I remember at the time when I heard this, thinking it was amazing. Imagine how much closer to the Lord this experience would bring you. However, at the same time I was incredulous because I could not imagine asking the Lord to show me that about myself. I had not yet started the Song of Solomon study that I am currently in. I did not yet even begin to understand how much the Lord loved me or how beautiful I am to Him. I couldn't imagine seeing the opposite side of the coin.

Now that I've been going through the Song of Solomon study, the Lord has been bringing numerous other things into my life to help me to understand just how very much I mean to Him and how much He loves me. I'm amazed at just the little bit that I am now starting to understand. How much He loves me, because that is what He created me for, not because of anything that I do.

With this though He has shown me something else. While reading the Final Quest by Rick Joyner, I came to the chapter called The White Throne. I wrote briefly about some of this chapter in the posts The Sheep and the Goats as well as Focus: Ministry or People.

In this chapter, Rick's vision has brought him to the Throne Room of Christ. He begins to see himself and others that he has thought of as great Christians, as they really were on earth. He begins to see that what we see here in our lives is not necessarily reality. It began to make me think about what I really look like without God's grace. While thinking about this I realized something:

Until we can start to see what we look like to God without His Grace, we can not fully appreciate His Grace or how beautiful we are to Him through His Grace.

I don't know that I'm at the point that I'm ready for Him to show me who I am without Him or His Grace. I'm don't believe we can ever be truely ready for that experience. I'm just beginning to understand the darkness that is within me without my Lord and the love that He holds for me regardless. It has been an amazing experience so far!

Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem,

dark like the tents of Kedar,

like the tents curtains of Solomon

~Song of Solomon 1:5

Urgent America (Lou Engle)

I recently had an email forwarded to me with the below message attached from Lou Engle. I tried to find this on his website so I could just reference the link, but was not able to so I'm posting the email here.

Please take a moment to read and think about what he has to say. He also has a blog which is a very good and thought provoking read if you are interested - Lou Engle Blog

*****

Urgent - To America

Lou Engle

I am speaking now for my own personal perspective and not from any ministry I lead.This past several weeks I posted a video stating that I could never voted for John McCain because he had voted for the funding of embryonic stem cell research. I have made a vow that I would not be a participant in either the shedding of innocent blood or in the taking of any life at any stage. It is my conviction that fertilized embryos are living cells. As we know, today there are walking living human beings that were once embryonic stem cells that could have been killed for research purposes. I have received some excellent feedback both for and against concerning my video. One of the arguments against my stand is that science has now found a procedure that makes embryonic stem cell research a moot point. Therefore they say McCain will not have to face this issue according to this argument. Major Catholic leaders have come out and now endorse John McCain because of this supposedly closed issue. Because of this, I have withdraw n the video because I don’t believe that I could lay my convictions on others who will be faced with a major decision on whether their conscience could allow them to vote for McCain.

As for me, and not my ministry, I remain steadfast in my earlier conviction that I cannot vote for John McCain. I would like to include a part of James Dobson’s statement concerning McCain because there are obviously other issues involved. You may ask me, “Shouldn’t we vote for McCain because he is certainly better than Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama?” My answer is maybe you should, but I have been praying that God would drive the abortion issue like a wedge into this nation. Why should I take the wedge out by softening my stand? If the church came out in mass and united behind a true pro-life candidate, like Mike Huckabee, it would forever make a statement to the Republican Party that we are not yours we are God’s. Maybe it would be better to lose an election than to have another Missouri Compromise that keeps dumbing down the issue and will eventually bring us to divine judgment because we have ceased to become t he conscience of the nation. What is better, a compromising Zedekiah, or a hostile Nebuchadnezzer? God was able to do more with the pagan king Nebuchadnezzer than he could with the compromising king of Judah. Maybe our thinking is all humanistic and we believe in politics more than the power of prayer.

Many of you have read my article on the five loaves and two fish candidate. You can read it again on my blog. I believe that the sudden surge of Huckabee and his confession that it was because of the prayers of the saints, could have been a sign and a test for the body of Christ to see whether or not we had eyes to see what we have been praying for, for so long. The brown bag container may have been just too much for us, and we stumbled over the simplicity of the voice. Here is a man, Mike Huckabee, that has stood for both a federal human life amendment and a federal marriage amendment arguing the brilliant case that to drive the issues to the states like John McCain would want to, is to make morality geographical. That is what slavery was! But no- we opted out and took the lie of elect-ability. There was no clear prophetic clarity in the body of Christ and so we settle for that which can neither give us a true plumb line of righteous ness or a measuring line of justice and we perpetrate the ongoing moral confusion that threatens to drown this nation and bring about a complete collapse of character. (I am deeply concerned about the immigration issue and am praying that Huckabee would take much more of a compassionate stand for illegal immigrants. Still my stand of conscience is upon the foundations of life and marriage.)

But it is not over; the word was that if the church would pray the next president would come in a brown bag and his five loaves and two fish would be more than enough. Mitt Romney has dropped out of the race. If the church would rise up with one voice in prayer and in voting a Godly man whom I have had the privilege to personally spend time with now and who stands on the values of marriage and life upon which civilizations rise and fall could still be elected. And even yet if we pray God may do other things that no one could have expected. For He raises up kings and He brings them down. So I lay before you my convictions but I don’t lay them upon you. But here I stand I can do no other.

For America,

Lou Engle

Statement made by James Dobson on February 5, 2008:

"I'm deeply disappointed the Republican Party seems poised to select a nominee who did not support a constitutional amendment to protect the institution of marriage, who voted for embryonic stem cell research to kill nascent human beings, who opposed tax cuts that ended the marriage penalty, and who has little regard for freedom of speech, who organized the Gang of 14 to preserve filibusters, and has a legendary temper and often uses foul and obscene language… I cannot, and will not, vote for Sen. John McCain, as a matter of conscience.”

"But what a sad and melancholy decision this is for me and many other conservatives. Should Sen. McCain capture the nomination as many assume, I believe this general election will offer the worst choices for president in my lifetime. I certainly can't vote for Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama based on their virulently anti-family policy positions. If these are the nominees in November, I simply will not cast a ballot for president for the first time in my life. These decisions are my personal views and do not represent the organization with which I am affiliated. They do reflect my deeply held convictions about the institution of the family, about moral and spiritual beliefs, and about the welfare of our country."

James Dobson’s endorsement of Huckabee on February 7, 2008:

“The remaining candidate for whom I could vote is Governor Huckabee,” Dobson said. “His unwavering positions on the social issues, notably the institution of marriage, the importance of faith and the sanctity of human life, resonate deeply with me and with many others … Obviously, the governor faces an uphill struggle, given the delegates already committed to Senator McCain. Nevertheless, I believe he is our best remaining choice for president of the United States.”

My final statement:

I have heard such scathing comments against James Dobson from the body of Christ for his stand. Be careful you may be among those who stone the prophets. The great abolitionist heroes of the past were not known nor are now heralded by history for their political equivocation.

Focus: Ministry or People?

As I've been reading The Final Quest I've found that although it is a short book, it is taking me awhile to get through it. I find as I read each chapter I need to take time to let things sink in and let God speak to me.

So as I was going back over notes that I've taken on what I've been reading I found some quotes that I wrote down that I believe deal with the post I made last night about The Sheep and the Goats. I wanted to share these with you now.

This whole battle was for the people, and yet people were often regarded as the least important. We will fight fo truths more than for the people for whom they are given. We will fight for ministries while running rough shod over the people in them.

How much was I doing to promote myself rather than Christ? I began to see how much I did just to prove myself to others, especially those who disliked me, who rejected me, or who I felt in competition with in some way. I began to see how much of my own life was built on the facades of a projected image that belied who I really was.

I read these two items in the book and I thought "Yep, that happens alot. I've seen this many times in the Church." But then the Lord revealed to me how many times I've done this myself. I don't have any huge minisitry, but I've still had these attitudes. I've lost focus of God and those He loves and put the focus on me, my beliefs, my agendas, etc while believing I was walking with God and doing His Will. It is about our attitude and our focus.

In the story Rick is given a very drab and plain tunic to wear over his armor. Everytime he looks down at it (especially when he is in heaven amoung all those who have been purified by the Lord) he feels plain, dirty and ashamed of the tunic. But then he is reminded that the tunic is humility. He is to wear it while on earth so that the glory that is the Holy Spirit within him does not offend others who the Lord wants to save.

I realized that every time I start to think "Yep, I have that tunic!" are really times when I am at my most arrogant regarding my spiritual walk with the Lord. At those times He reveals to me a little bit more about how I look without His grace and I am immediately on my face before Him again. But after, I have a new understanding of His Love and Grace that I had not had before that experience.

The Sheep and the Goats

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. . .41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in
prison and you did not look after me.' 44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison,and did not help you?' 45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' ~Matthew 25:31-33, 31-45

As I've mentioned before I'm reading The Final Quest by Rick Joyner. I must say it is messing up my mind in that it is causing a huge shift in how I think about things and look at things. I highly recommend the book.

At one point he is talking to someone who he had once wanted to be mentored by, but their personalities had clashed and they had not gotten along well. This man is now holy and pure in heaven, but tells Rick he is one of the least in heaven because of how he had focused more on himself than on God during his life. (The amazing part is that he is so thankful and happy for the place he does have in heaven!) As he explains this a bit more Rick realizes he has done some of the same things. One of the things he mentions is he had rejected those who the Lord had given him to disciple. That really made me think.

I've always thought of the story in Matthew regarding the sheep and the goats as being someone who literally does not help the poor and needy physically. I looked at it in a worldly way, I guess. But it could also be taken in a spiritual sense. Are we helping those who are hungry, thirsty and poor spiritually - those who are looking for God? Are we being so judgmental towards others and arrogant in our own spiritual standing that we miss those God sends us because we think they are not worthy or we think they are unimportant?

While I was thinking of this the Lord revealed some of my own shortcomings to me. Areas where I had started to get arrogant because of what God has been revealing to me. Areas where I've started to focus on myself instead of on God. That knocked me down a notch or two.

So now I need to ask myself everyday:

Am I the sheep or the goat? Am I feeding the hungry and thirsty, caring for the poor and needy physically? Am I feeding the hungry and thirsty, caring for the poor and needy spiritually?

Am I looking upon others arrogantly, holding it over their head that I am spiritually more mature than them or am I looking on them with love through Jesus' eyes? Is there anyone God has put in my life to help that I have not because I have been thinking they were not worthy or important? If so, then I'm forgetting that I'm not worthy or important, but God still teaches and pursues me because He loves me regardless of what or who I am. The least I could do is the same for others.