His Love / Our Darkness

Awhile back, someone I know had shared about how they were going through a phase right now where God is revealing to them what they look like, who they are, without His Grace to cover them. He said he had actually been asking the Lord to show him this and he talked about how the Lord showing him this would put him on his face in front of the Lord, weeping.

I remember at the time when I heard this, thinking it was amazing. Imagine how much closer to the Lord this experience would bring you. However, at the same time I was incredulous because I could not imagine asking the Lord to show me that about myself. I had not yet started the Song of Solomon study that I am currently in. I did not yet even begin to understand how much the Lord loved me or how beautiful I am to Him. I couldn't imagine seeing the opposite side of the coin.

Now that I've been going through the Song of Solomon study, the Lord has been bringing numerous other things into my life to help me to understand just how very much I mean to Him and how much He loves me. I'm amazed at just the little bit that I am now starting to understand. How much He loves me, because that is what He created me for, not because of anything that I do.

With this though He has shown me something else. While reading the Final Quest by Rick Joyner, I came to the chapter called The White Throne. I wrote briefly about some of this chapter in the posts The Sheep and the Goats as well as Focus: Ministry or People.

In this chapter, Rick's vision has brought him to the Throne Room of Christ. He begins to see himself and others that he has thought of as great Christians, as they really were on earth. He begins to see that what we see here in our lives is not necessarily reality. It began to make me think about what I really look like without God's grace. While thinking about this I realized something:

Until we can start to see what we look like to God without His Grace, we can not fully appreciate His Grace or how beautiful we are to Him through His Grace.

I don't know that I'm at the point that I'm ready for Him to show me who I am without Him or His Grace. I'm don't believe we can ever be truely ready for that experience. I'm just beginning to understand the darkness that is within me without my Lord and the love that He holds for me regardless. It has been an amazing experience so far!

Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem,

dark like the tents of Kedar,

like the tents curtains of Solomon

~Song of Solomon 1:5

Urgent America (Lou Engle)

I recently had an email forwarded to me with the below message attached from Lou Engle. I tried to find this on his website so I could just reference the link, but was not able to so I'm posting the email here.

Please take a moment to read and think about what he has to say. He also has a blog which is a very good and thought provoking read if you are interested - Lou Engle Blog

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Urgent - To America

Lou Engle

I am speaking now for my own personal perspective and not from any ministry I lead.This past several weeks I posted a video stating that I could never voted for John McCain because he had voted for the funding of embryonic stem cell research. I have made a vow that I would not be a participant in either the shedding of innocent blood or in the taking of any life at any stage. It is my conviction that fertilized embryos are living cells. As we know, today there are walking living human beings that were once embryonic stem cells that could have been killed for research purposes. I have received some excellent feedback both for and against concerning my video. One of the arguments against my stand is that science has now found a procedure that makes embryonic stem cell research a moot point. Therefore they say McCain will not have to face this issue according to this argument. Major Catholic leaders have come out and now endorse John McCain because of this supposedly closed issue. Because of this, I have withdraw n the video because I don’t believe that I could lay my convictions on others who will be faced with a major decision on whether their conscience could allow them to vote for McCain.

As for me, and not my ministry, I remain steadfast in my earlier conviction that I cannot vote for John McCain. I would like to include a part of James Dobson’s statement concerning McCain because there are obviously other issues involved. You may ask me, “Shouldn’t we vote for McCain because he is certainly better than Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama?” My answer is maybe you should, but I have been praying that God would drive the abortion issue like a wedge into this nation. Why should I take the wedge out by softening my stand? If the church came out in mass and united behind a true pro-life candidate, like Mike Huckabee, it would forever make a statement to the Republican Party that we are not yours we are God’s. Maybe it would be better to lose an election than to have another Missouri Compromise that keeps dumbing down the issue and will eventually bring us to divine judgment because we have ceased to become t he conscience of the nation. What is better, a compromising Zedekiah, or a hostile Nebuchadnezzer? God was able to do more with the pagan king Nebuchadnezzer than he could with the compromising king of Judah. Maybe our thinking is all humanistic and we believe in politics more than the power of prayer.

Many of you have read my article on the five loaves and two fish candidate. You can read it again on my blog. I believe that the sudden surge of Huckabee and his confession that it was because of the prayers of the saints, could have been a sign and a test for the body of Christ to see whether or not we had eyes to see what we have been praying for, for so long. The brown bag container may have been just too much for us, and we stumbled over the simplicity of the voice. Here is a man, Mike Huckabee, that has stood for both a federal human life amendment and a federal marriage amendment arguing the brilliant case that to drive the issues to the states like John McCain would want to, is to make morality geographical. That is what slavery was! But no- we opted out and took the lie of elect-ability. There was no clear prophetic clarity in the body of Christ and so we settle for that which can neither give us a true plumb line of righteous ness or a measuring line of justice and we perpetrate the ongoing moral confusion that threatens to drown this nation and bring about a complete collapse of character. (I am deeply concerned about the immigration issue and am praying that Huckabee would take much more of a compassionate stand for illegal immigrants. Still my stand of conscience is upon the foundations of life and marriage.)

But it is not over; the word was that if the church would pray the next president would come in a brown bag and his five loaves and two fish would be more than enough. Mitt Romney has dropped out of the race. If the church would rise up with one voice in prayer and in voting a Godly man whom I have had the privilege to personally spend time with now and who stands on the values of marriage and life upon which civilizations rise and fall could still be elected. And even yet if we pray God may do other things that no one could have expected. For He raises up kings and He brings them down. So I lay before you my convictions but I don’t lay them upon you. But here I stand I can do no other.

For America,

Lou Engle

Statement made by James Dobson on February 5, 2008:

"I'm deeply disappointed the Republican Party seems poised to select a nominee who did not support a constitutional amendment to protect the institution of marriage, who voted for embryonic stem cell research to kill nascent human beings, who opposed tax cuts that ended the marriage penalty, and who has little regard for freedom of speech, who organized the Gang of 14 to preserve filibusters, and has a legendary temper and often uses foul and obscene language… I cannot, and will not, vote for Sen. John McCain, as a matter of conscience.”

"But what a sad and melancholy decision this is for me and many other conservatives. Should Sen. McCain capture the nomination as many assume, I believe this general election will offer the worst choices for president in my lifetime. I certainly can't vote for Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama based on their virulently anti-family policy positions. If these are the nominees in November, I simply will not cast a ballot for president for the first time in my life. These decisions are my personal views and do not represent the organization with which I am affiliated. They do reflect my deeply held convictions about the institution of the family, about moral and spiritual beliefs, and about the welfare of our country."

James Dobson’s endorsement of Huckabee on February 7, 2008:

“The remaining candidate for whom I could vote is Governor Huckabee,” Dobson said. “His unwavering positions on the social issues, notably the institution of marriage, the importance of faith and the sanctity of human life, resonate deeply with me and with many others … Obviously, the governor faces an uphill struggle, given the delegates already committed to Senator McCain. Nevertheless, I believe he is our best remaining choice for president of the United States.”

My final statement:

I have heard such scathing comments against James Dobson from the body of Christ for his stand. Be careful you may be among those who stone the prophets. The great abolitionist heroes of the past were not known nor are now heralded by history for their political equivocation.

Focus: Ministry or People?

As I've been reading The Final Quest I've found that although it is a short book, it is taking me awhile to get through it. I find as I read each chapter I need to take time to let things sink in and let God speak to me.

So as I was going back over notes that I've taken on what I've been reading I found some quotes that I wrote down that I believe deal with the post I made last night about The Sheep and the Goats. I wanted to share these with you now.

This whole battle was for the people, and yet people were often regarded as the least important. We will fight fo truths more than for the people for whom they are given. We will fight for ministries while running rough shod over the people in them.

How much was I doing to promote myself rather than Christ? I began to see how much I did just to prove myself to others, especially those who disliked me, who rejected me, or who I felt in competition with in some way. I began to see how much of my own life was built on the facades of a projected image that belied who I really was.

I read these two items in the book and I thought "Yep, that happens alot. I've seen this many times in the Church." But then the Lord revealed to me how many times I've done this myself. I don't have any huge minisitry, but I've still had these attitudes. I've lost focus of God and those He loves and put the focus on me, my beliefs, my agendas, etc while believing I was walking with God and doing His Will. It is about our attitude and our focus.

In the story Rick is given a very drab and plain tunic to wear over his armor. Everytime he looks down at it (especially when he is in heaven amoung all those who have been purified by the Lord) he feels plain, dirty and ashamed of the tunic. But then he is reminded that the tunic is humility. He is to wear it while on earth so that the glory that is the Holy Spirit within him does not offend others who the Lord wants to save.

I realized that every time I start to think "Yep, I have that tunic!" are really times when I am at my most arrogant regarding my spiritual walk with the Lord. At those times He reveals to me a little bit more about how I look without His grace and I am immediately on my face before Him again. But after, I have a new understanding of His Love and Grace that I had not had before that experience.

The Sheep and the Goats

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. . .41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in
prison and you did not look after me.' 44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison,and did not help you?' 45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' ~Matthew 25:31-33, 31-45

As I've mentioned before I'm reading The Final Quest by Rick Joyner. I must say it is messing up my mind in that it is causing a huge shift in how I think about things and look at things. I highly recommend the book.

At one point he is talking to someone who he had once wanted to be mentored by, but their personalities had clashed and they had not gotten along well. This man is now holy and pure in heaven, but tells Rick he is one of the least in heaven because of how he had focused more on himself than on God during his life. (The amazing part is that he is so thankful and happy for the place he does have in heaven!) As he explains this a bit more Rick realizes he has done some of the same things. One of the things he mentions is he had rejected those who the Lord had given him to disciple. That really made me think.

I've always thought of the story in Matthew regarding the sheep and the goats as being someone who literally does not help the poor and needy physically. I looked at it in a worldly way, I guess. But it could also be taken in a spiritual sense. Are we helping those who are hungry, thirsty and poor spiritually - those who are looking for God? Are we being so judgmental towards others and arrogant in our own spiritual standing that we miss those God sends us because we think they are not worthy or we think they are unimportant?

While I was thinking of this the Lord revealed some of my own shortcomings to me. Areas where I had started to get arrogant because of what God has been revealing to me. Areas where I've started to focus on myself instead of on God. That knocked me down a notch or two.

So now I need to ask myself everyday:

Am I the sheep or the goat? Am I feeding the hungry and thirsty, caring for the poor and needy physically? Am I feeding the hungry and thirsty, caring for the poor and needy spiritually?

Am I looking upon others arrogantly, holding it over their head that I am spiritually more mature than them or am I looking on them with love through Jesus' eyes? Is there anyone God has put in my life to help that I have not because I have been thinking they were not worthy or important? If so, then I'm forgetting that I'm not worthy or important, but God still teaches and pursues me because He loves me regardless of what or who I am. The least I could do is the same for others.

Ephesians 1:4-6

My house church just finished a study for the children on Praise. It actually had some really good things for us adults as well. So last night we had decided to do a quick study on the Armor of God until we decided what to do next. The study last night really had a lot of good discussion with the adults and with the kids (I'll share some in the upcoming days!). We are finally starting to figure out how to do our "adult" time as a church while involving the kids as well. It is amazing how much everyone, adults & children, are growing closer to the Lord.

We decided we are now going to go through all of Ephesians - one chapter a week. We will all read it and come with our notes/thoughts to discuss. One adult each week will go through the chapter as well to look for discussion items to involve the children. I'm so excited!

Last night I started reading through Epehsians 1 and verses 4 - 6 really jumped out at me. I wanted to share that with you today.

4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
(Ephesians 1:4-6, NIV)

I'm going through a study right now on the Song of Solomon and I'm starting to finally get in my heart how the Lord really feels about me, how much He really loves me. This may be why this verse jumped out to me. We all remember the verse about the Lord knowing us when we were in our mother's womb (Psalm 71:6), but the verse in Ephesians tells us that the Lord not only has loved us since we were conceived, but even before the world was created!

Think about this and personalize it to you. The Lord loved me and wanted me to be holy and blameless in His sight even before He created the world! He wanted me to be a child of His even before He made the earth and all that is in it! What an amazing love.

Then it says he took pleasure in planning this. Even before He created the world He loved me, thought of me and made a plan to redeem me because of His love for me and He took pleasure in doing all of this. I am NOT a burden to the Lord - He takes pleasure in me just the way I am now. Not in how I will be after His process with me is finished (that is what He is enjoying planning for me). He took/takes pleasure in me when I was/am at my lowest!

For me that is a huge revelation. I think without realizing it I had a always seen myself as a burden to God. When I read this last night it finally hit me - God was telling me that when He does things for me He is not doing it because He feels He is obligated to do so because that is what His Word says, but because He really enjoys it and wants to do it for me!

I looked these verses up on Biblegatway in various translations. I love the way it is worded in The Message:

3-6 How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

(Ephesians 1:3-6, The Message)

I love how this says we were the focus of his love and that He wants us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving. When you personalize this and realize this is how the Lord feels about you, regardless of where you are at right now - that is beyond what we can imagine! Just know the Lord really does Love you more than you could ever imagine and there is nothing you have to do to earn it. He is pursuing you and lavishes His amazing love on you. Doesn't that just make you want to love and serve Him so much more!

19We love Him because He first loved us.

(1 John 4:19, NKJV)

Eyes of our Heart

God gave me something recently that keeps coming to mind periodically as I go through my day. It is a great encouragement to me and I wanted to share it with all of you, in case it could be the same for you.

God gave me this while I was reading the second chapter in The Final Quest. In his vision, Rick Joyner has been standing in the Garden of the Lord, he has ate from the Tree of Life and has been worshiping God. Then he is being told he needs to leave the garden to go out and bring the Good News of Jesus to others. He is saddened to leave the garden, but an angel named Wisdom tells him that this place and the presence of Jesus lives in his heart.

Then Wisdom released me and started to walk toward the gate. I followed with ambivalence. I remembered the exhilaration of the battle and the climb up the mountain, and it was compelling, but there was no comparison to the presence of the Lord and the worship I had just experienced. Leaving this would be the greatest sacrifice I had ever made. Then I remembered how it was all inside of me and was amazed that I could forget this so quickly. It was like there was a great battle raging within me, between what I saw with my physical eyes and what I saw with my heart.

(The Final Quest, by Rick Joyner)

After reading this the Lord gave me a vision of me walking down a wide asphalt road. On each side of the road I could see bright lights flashing and hear loud music and laughter. So many distractions beckoning me to leave the wide dark road I walking down. It reminded me a lot of Las Vegas. It was so hard to concentrate on the road ahead which was so cold and dark when I could see so many things on each side of me that looked so fun. But then I heard the Lord's quiet voice speak to me, telling me to stop looking at the world through my physical eyes. He told me to close my eyes and look at the world the way He saw it, to see it through the eyes of my heart.

So I shut my eyes and immediately all the distractions on each side of me when quiet and dark. I still has a sense of them being there, but they were dark and fuzzy, they held no pleasure for me. I realized all of a sudden that the reality I thought I knew was not the true reality. It was a fake that was all made up on the outside but on the inside was hollow and empty.

Then I noticed in front of me there were what looked like stepping stones in the middle of the road. These began to glow with an inner light. They were beautiful. I noticed though that they were not very large, just big enough for me to put a foot on. The Lord whispered to me that the path was really much more narrow than I had originally thought and that the only way to stay on the path was to follow Him - to see "reality" through the eyes of my heart, not with my physical eyes.

Now when I start to get tempted by the things of this world or start to feel overwhelmed by the things of this world, this vision comes to mind. That is not to say that I don't sometimes let the distractions of this world sway me. I'm human just like everyone else and I fall. (And it has only been about a week since He gave me this and already I have fallen, more than once!) But eventually I do hear God's whisper and He draws me back onto the path. He wants to guide us back to the path and guide us down it, but we have to give Him permission. He will stay by us waiting for us to ask Him to take us back, but He won't just pick us up and bodily drag us there. He will pick us up and set us back on the path if we ask Him to though.

Song of Solomon Study

As many of you may know from my previous posts - I've been on a journey recently to better understand God's love for me. The Word says we love Him because He first loved us. I know how much He loves me in my head. But at times that is all it is, just head knowledge.

I want to get it in my heart. I want to truly understand that He loves me no matter what I have or have not done. That does not give me an excuse for not reading my Bible, not praying, etc. However, I have trouble truly understanding that His love for me is not dependent on these things. Therefore, I live with shame and condemnation a lot.

Last week I started a study at RHOP on the Song of Solomon and I am so excited (and a bit scared!) about this. Last week while listening to the woman leading this study I started to "get it". I started to feel it in my heart, but without realizing it I would start to throw up a wall. It is a habit and it was causing a struggle in me through the whole lesson. Part of me wants to have the heart knowledge of how my Lord feels towards me, but part of me feels the need to protect myself. I know it is crazy but old habits and ways of thinking are hard to break.

I believe it is no mistake that the woman leading this had to postpone it from November to now. Right now this study and this understanding of how much the Lord loves me and cherishes me means more than ever before. God's timing is perfect.

So, if any of this is pulling at something in your heart. If you think this is something the Lord is also wanting to reveal to you, please join me. RHOP is making the handouts and the lessons available online. You can listen to the podcasts using iTunes (which is free - iTunes).

RHOP Podcasts (and handouts)

Song of Songs - Session 1
Bridal Paradigm Introduction Handout
Song of Songs Overview Notes
Discovering God's Heart - Session 1 Notes

I also have the RHOP podcast feed on my sidebar so you can see when the new sessions are posted.

Prayer for President Bush in Israel

Please keep President Bush in your prayers over the next few days as he visits Israel and then other locations in the Middle East. There have been threats made against our leader and we need to cover him in prayer.

Below is an email I received from Joni Ames today regarding this:

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Dear Friends,

Let's all release extra prayer for the safety of President & Mrs. Bush while they are in the Middle East this week. There have been severe threats made on their lives, per all of the news media sources. It would also be good to break the power of word curses spoken about them - even the "prophecies" some have made that there would be assassination attempts. We do not want to come into agreement with such a thing. Rather, in prayer, cancel and take authority over that thing.

During the next few days, President & Mrs. Bush will travel to Israel, the West Bank, Kuwait, Bahrain, the United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt from January 9-16, 2008.

Below is his detailed itinerary as specified by National Security Advisor, Stephen Hadley:

January 9 - 10 Tel Aviv and the West Bank, Meeting with Israeli President Peres and Prime Minister Olmert, Meeting with Palestinian President Abbas and Prime Minister Fayyad

January 11 Meeting with Tony Blair

January 12 Visit with U.S. Troops at Camp Arifjan, Meeting with Ambassador Crocker and General Petraeus

January 13 Visit with U.S. Navy Fifth Fleet, Meeting with President Khalifa in the United Arab Emirates, followed by a speech he will give in Abu Dhabi

January 14 Meeting with ruler of Dubai, Meeting with King Abdullah of Saudia Arabia

January 15 Meetings in Riyadh

January 16 Meeting with President Sharm el-Sheikh in Egypt

Then, of course, pray for safe travel home.

Blessings,
Joni Ames

Huckabee's answer re: Evolution

I have to say the more I see of this candidate the more I like him. This is a click where Mike Huckabee responds to a question that is asked of him regarding whether or not he believes in evolution. I thought he did a great job of answering the question. What do you think?



If you are interested in learning more about this Mike Huckabee visit his site. It has alot of good information regarding where he stands on issues.

Where are we in the Army?

I've started reading a book called The Final Quest by Rick Joyner. The first chapter is called The Hordes of Hell are Marching. In it Rick describes a dream/vision God gave him about the army of the Enemy. The first part of the chapter he describes the army of the Enemy and the rest of the chapter he describes the army of the Lord and the beginning of the fight between these two armies.

What is interesting is how Christians figure into the army of the enemy. Demons such as Rejection, Bitterness, Lust, etc are actually riding into battle on Christians and these Christians do not even realize it. Then behind the main army he describes little demons called Fear that are guarding prisoners. These prisoners are Christians who are marching along dejected and above them are flying vultures who are Depression who vomit on the prisoners. The really sad thing is these prisoners still have their weapons with them and could kill the little demons and vultures guarding them, but they actually think these things are messengers of God and believe they are marching in the army of the Lord, not the enemy.

Then he runs to the army of the Lord and sees Christians, many of whom do not have all their armor on, or in some cases have no armor at all. Many are wounded and are not bothering to cover their wounds with armor to protect them. Behind this army are more Christians who are frolicking and have no idea what is going on. When someone says something about the impending war they laugh and say the Lord would never let anything like that happen and they ignore the reality of what is happening around them.

Then the enemy attacks and their arrows of Accusation, Gossip, Slander & Faultfinding rain down on the army of the Lord. The vultures of depression come in and start taking away the wounded to become prisoners in the army of the enemy.

Later in the chapter he describes the army of the Lord going to the Mountain of the Lord and climbing levels while fighting the enemy. The angels of Faith, Hope & Love encourage them and they grow stronger. He talks of the weapons of the Lord to be found on the different levels and about putting their swords (the Word of God) into the ground and tying themselves to it in order to anchor themselves while they shoot arrows down on the enemy.

I found this whole chapter so very interesting and it spoke to me quite a bit. I could see that the things he was describing are happening in our world. We just don't see it because we are so distracted by this world, we forget there is a spiritual world that is very active. It influences our lives whether we recognize it exists or not.

I also found myself throughout the chapter wondering which part of the army I was? Am I part of the army of the enemy being ridden by demons? Am I one of the prisoners being dragged down by depression, thinking that I'm marching with the Lord? Am I one of the individuals in the army of the Lord that is not fully armored and is already wounded and not trying to protect myself or allowing God to heal me?

This is just the first chapter of this short book. I'm going to read this first chapter again prior to continuing on. I've also started praying that the Lord will reveal to me where I am in these two armies. I'm praying He'll open my eyes to where I am and what I need to do in order to ensure I am part of the Lord's army and climbing His Mountain.