Loneliness & Conversations with God

Yesterday morning I had a conversation with God.  A dear friend of my posted yesterday about healing.  She spoke of those of us who struggle with weight gain due to eating in times of stress etc.  She spoke of how things in our past have created bad habits in us and many times the reason why our failure to lose weight is because we are not addressing the root problem.  She spoke of how she has realized loneliness in her past had started bad habits for her regarding eating.

I've struggled for awhile now with my eating habits.  We ate very healthy growing up.  We grew our own vegtables and most of our meat even came from our own efforts rather than from the store.  I ate very little junk food or sugar growing up.  But I do remember sneaking sweets whenever I could and sometimes gorging myself if I had the chance until I was physically sick.  As an adult I've realized that I eat without even realizing I'm doing it at times. 

As I read my friend's post yesterday and she mentioned loneliness, it struck a chord.  I've always had self-esteem issues.  I've had many friends off and on in my life, but never really had any deep relationships with anyone, until recently.  And even now I don't have any of those deep relationships which I so desire.  I want to be myself with others and really let them get to know me, but I have a fear that if I do I will be judged.  So even when I'm transparent with others, there is still something that I'm holding back.  Parts of me I'm not revealing, not because I'm a private person, but out of fear.

Even my posts on my blogs are reserved compared to what I'd like to post.  I want to be transparent and let the Lord use my words to help others.  But I have probably 5 times the number of posts in my head than what ends up on here.  The reason for not posting?  Fear.  Fear of what others will think and the loneliness that will follow as others pull away from me.

As I sat getting ready for my day yesterday, pondering this I began to talk to the Lord.

Me:  God, why did you make me this way?  I have so many weaknesses that I just can't seem to get past.  I want to follow you, to love you and give you my entire life.  However, these weaknesses hinder me.  I could do so much more for you, be so much more productive if you had just created me with more strength, more confidence.  If you had not given me these weaknesses, or allowed them to develop in my life I could accomplish so much for Your Glory.

God's still small voice:  Angela, beloved, in your weaknesses, my Strength shines all the brighter.

Me: But Lord, I can't make these changes on my own.  I've tried and I just keep failing.  I need you to transform me.  I'm so lonely, even surrounded by so many people in my life.  I need you to change me, to comfort me, to drive out this loneliness.  To help me get past all these insecurities in my life that hold me back.

God's still small voice: That's what I've been waiting for, my child.  That is all you ever had to do, just to ask me instead of striving yourself.  Be still, rest in Me.  That is all you need to do.  Focus on my love for you, your identify is in Me.  I will take care of the rest.

Gazing on His Beauty

Awhile back I had the desire to study the life of David. Specifically his heart, since he is described by God Himself as being a man after God's own heart.  The more I journey down this path with the Lord the more I desire to have that type of relationship with Him.

As I read about David and his relationship with God, I realize the key to having a heart after God's is to understand God's Heart.  The more I understand how passionately He loves me, even in the midst of all the "junk" in my life - the more I will begin to love Him.  The more I will desire to spend time in His presence and to follow Him.

For too long I've allowed my perfectionist tendencies to drive me to try to be righteous and holy.  The problem with this is I am focuing on myself instead of Christ.  I've focused on being a "good" christian for so long and when I've stumbled I've focused on how much of a failure I was because of it.  I've heard for so long how I need to focus on Jesus and not myself, that God loves me no matter what.  But it was not until this last week that this finally clicked for me!  I've been preaching this concept to others but without realizing it I was not living it myself.  I was still focusing on my failures and running from God when I failed instead of running to Him.  I was still focused on my efforts to be "good" for God, trying to earn His love.  A love that is greater than I can even begin to imagine and which is already wholly mine - no strings attached!

Now, instead of expending so much energy on being a "good" christian I want to spend my efforts gazing upon God, understanding His emotions and His love.  The rest will happen naturally as I fall more and more in love with this amazing, awesome God who loves me.

Remember your first love?  The giddy feelings?  How you wanted to know as much as possible about the person and could not stop thinking about them.  How your heart would flutter everytime you saw them.   Remember how when they expressed their love for you, it would increase your love towards them?  Our relationship with God is to be like this, but soo much more.  And more permanent.  It is not a fleeting feeling that fades after a few months when we get to know each other.  There is always more to learn about God and His love for us.  There is always something new to inspire us.

That is how I've been feeling lately.  I've been giddy with excitement for no apparent reason.  I'm excited to spend time in His Word, praying, worshiping and just sitting in His Presence.  I crave it and run after it.  I want more! 

Do you feel that way about your Lord and Savior?  If not, ask Him to begin to reveal His heart to you.  Ask Him to show you His beauty and to give you understanding of how great is His love for you.  How passionately He pursues and woos you.  Ask Him to give you more understanding of Psalm 27, to truly place this desire deep within your heart.

Psalm 27:4
One thing I ask of the Lord; this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.

One book I'm reading right now that I recommend to anyone who wants to take this journey is "After His Own Heart" by Mike Bickle.  I leave you now with a quote from this book:

"The heart of God is a wonderland, a universe of beauty like no place mankind could dream up.  All beauty on earth is merely a reflection of Him..."

Finding Yourself

"Finding yourself" or understanding who you really are will never come from examining yourself.  Looking within yourself, looking at your heart, your surroundings or those you know will not bring true self-understanding or true purpose to your life.

Our identity flows from Him, His heart.  The only way to truly find yourself is to find Him.  Understand Him and His heart and you will truly find yourself! 

Instead of focusing on trying to "find yourself", focus your energies on understanding our God and His heart and He will reveal who you truly are and your purpose.

Jesus = Passionate Bridegroom
Me/You = Cherished Bride

"Intimacy with God is not just an option, but it is the very essence of true Christianity."  ~ Mike Bickle

Anchored in His Word - Fowler's Snare & Deadly Pestilence

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."  Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.  Psalm 91:2-3

What are the fowler's snares and deadly pestilence in your life?

I asked myself this question last week when we began memorizing these verses in a group of which I'm a part. 

Fowler's snares - traps of the enemy, lies he tells me that I buy into.
"You are not loved.  You are not cherished.  You don't fit in anywhere.  God can't/won't use you..."
The list goes on and on.

Deadily Pestilence - sin or distractions I allow to keep me from God's Presence.  Too much time on the computer, watching TV, even spending too much time doing things that are "good" such as preparing thing for homeschooling my kids.

Question:
Do I truly believe that He is my refuge, my fortress?  Do I truly trust Him?  When I'm in need of shelter from the storms in life, when those snares block my path, when the deadly pestilence stalks me, do I turn to Him?  Or do I turn to myself or other things of this world?  How do I further develop that trust?

Answer:
The same as any other relationship, by spending time with Him.  The more time I spend with Him, the better I understand His character and know that I can always trust Him.

Anchored in God's Word

Isn't it amazing how the Lord works to pull a bunch of separate events in our lives together into one big beautiful picture?  The Lord has been speaking to me lately about being anchored in His Word.  He has done it through a book I'm reading, verses I'm memorizing and through my every day interactions with people in my life.

We have always been told that we should memorize God's Word, that we should be reading Scripture daily in order to fight the enemy.  That we should be putting on the armor of God everyday.  But do we really understand why and the great importance of it?  God is working in His people right now, He is preparing us for something and if we are not anchored in Him and His Word we very well may be left behind in the dust when it all breaks loose.

Here are some tidbits I've "gathered" the past week about this.

Rick Warren - Don't ever try to argue with the Devil.  He's better at arguing than you are, having had thousands of years to practice.  You can't bluff Satan with logic or your opinion, but you can use the weapon that makes him tremble - the truth of God.

Psalm 91:1 - He who dwells in the Shelter of the Most High shall rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

This is KEY!!  I need to rest in God and His Word.

I'm also rereading The Final Quest by Rick Joyner.  I found it very profound the first time I read it but this time it seems to be speaking to me so much more.  In the first part of the book Rick is part of the army of God fighting the army of the Accuser of the Brethren.  The Lord's Army is on a mountain with many ledges during the fight.

Ephesians 6 speaks of the armor of God.  The Word of God is our sword.  This is our weapon to fight off the attacks of the enemy.  It is also our anchor.

In The Final Quest the ledge Rick is on is narrow and slippery, so he uses his sword to anchor himself.  He drives it into the ledge and ties himself to it.  When he does this he hears God say:

"You have used the wisdom that will enable you to keep climbing.  Many have fallen because they did not use their sword properly to anchor themselves."

Then later he writes "I spent every free moment that I got trying to drive my sword deeper in to the ledge, or trying to tie myself more securely to it.  Every time I did this, Wisdom would stand beside me so I knew that it was very important."

This is after he describes some on the ledge using the swords to drive off the vultures attacking them but being more easily knocked off the ledge.

**  We MUST be anchored in His Word!!  **

If this was not clear enough I then received the weekly Facts of the Matter email. Last week started a 3 part series about Truth, Identify and Purpose. This first week was about Truth and talked specifically about being anchored in God's Truth and living it out in our lives!

As I continued to read the Final Quest later in the week there came a point in the book where some of the Christians wanted to go down and fight the enemy.  After discussion they decide to stay where they are. When they make this decision Rick hears the voice of the Lord say, "A second time you have chosen wisdom. You cannot win if you try to fight the enemy on his own ground, but you must remain on My Holy mountain."

We need to make sure that we don't try to fight the enemy ourselves - we must do it while staying within the Lord's protection.  For me this was in line with my verse for the week (Psalm 91:1) and the quote from Rick Warren which I had read.
At this point Joyner realizes that they have once again made a huge and important decision with just a discussion amoungst themselves. He resolves at this point to make no decisions in the future without prayer. He realizes how without prayer we can so easily fall. As he makes this decision Wisdom grabs his arms and confirms that he must consult the Lord in prayer before making decisions. As Wisdom confirms this he pulls Joyner towards him and at this point Joyner realizes that without even knowing it he had strayed over to the edge of the ledge he was on. At this point Wisdom says to him "Take heed when you think you stand, lest you fall. In this life you can fall from any level."
 
So last week's theme, at least for me was "Be Anchored in God's Word!"  I don't know how the message could be clearer!  God's Word tells us in the end many will fall away.  I believe this is because there will be so many messages out there that we will not know what to believe.  And I believe God will start working in ways that are outside of the boxes we have put Him in.  Many will be offended when He does not do things they way we expect Him to (since when has He limited Himself to what we think!?)  My concern has been how can I be sure that I'm not offended when God begins to move mightly in this world.  How can I be sure that I don't fall for the deceptions of the enemy and walk with the Lord.  As Rick Warren points out above, the enemy is very wise and deceptive.  I can't in my own human wisdom discern what is Truth and what is his twisted version of truth.  How do I set aside my expectations so I am open to whatever the Lord wills for me? 
 
The only answer is to be anchored in God's Word.  To spend so much time with Him and in His Presence that I will easily recognize His Voice when He calls to me.  He is my shepard,  He is your shepard.  Do you know His Voice?
 
But wait!  There's more!
 
To be continued . . .

God's Transformation Process - Part 4

Below is my last post on SUM for the 30 Days - Mind of Christ Experiment.  However the journey continues until Saturday (31st).  And to be honest this is just the beginning, this is an ongoing journey of revelation from the Lord.  If you want to go through the 30 days yourself please visit Day 1 at SUM and then follow through the posts. 

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Over the past three weeks I’ve shared with you the “stages” the Lord has taken me through as He has begun a major transformation process in my life. I’ve walked you through how He revealed His great abiding love and began to help me to truly understand it. How He began to dive deep into my heart and soul to uncover the deepest, darkest and ugliest parts of my life in order to bring healing. And I’ve shared how He has begun to reveal to me the truth about standing with Him while loving others. I pray my transparency regarding my journey will help you in yours. I know that just writing these posts has blessed me tremendously.


I wish I could say the transformation process is over, that I’m a finished and perfected clay vessel. But if these past three weeks have confirmed anything for me, it is that we are all continuous works in process. There is always more to be revealed. These “stages” I’ve shared with you are not a 3 step process that results in a fully transformed mind, heart and soul. Instead they are a cycle which the Lord will take you through repeatedly for the rest of your life. You’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come and rejoice in it. And you can also look forward and know you have a lot still to learn. But don’t let this be a discouragement, instead it should be exciting, a sense of expectation. The Lord will continue to transform you as long as you allow Him.

As you continue to yield your life to Him each day and to step down off the throne of your lives, He will reveal His love for you anew, He will reveal the darkness in your heart and heal you, and He will give you His eyes and His heart to see and love the world as He does.

Randy Alcorn wrote a book I love called Edge of Eternity. It reminds me quite a bit of Pilgrim’s Progress. In the story the main character is traveling along a road. As he does he sees two cities. The closest is beautiful and full of wonderful things. At the top of the many tall buildings, he can see that each citizen has their own throne upon which they sit surrounded by vast riches. Far off he sees another city, but it is dark and depressing and only has one throne. However, as he travels farther down this road, his goal being to reach the King’s City, his perspective begins to change. The city in front of him, the one that was depressing and only had one throne begins to become stunningly beautiful, more so than he ever could have imagined. Behind him the city he had thought so beautiful before has become dark. He realizes the thrones that each person sat upon were really tangled webs that held them captive. The people living in the city thought they were free and powerful, but in reality they were in bondage. I read this book a few years back, but this image has stayed with me. It is a powerful picture of our lives.

In your journal today, ask yourself - where are you on this road? Which city do you have your sights set on? Lynn has asked many times during this journey if you are still waking each morning and coming before the Lord on your knees, stepping off the throne of your life and handing it over to Him who truly rules. This is so powerful!

As I sign off on my last post for this 30 day journey I first want to thank all of you. I came into this praying the Lord would give me words to help others and bring Him glory. He has done far more than I could have ever imagined. In some ways I’ve grown as much in the past three weeks as I did over the two years which I’ve shared with you. You have all been part of this transformation for me. I love the way the Lord uses us and our weaknesses to bless others. Isn’t He amazing?

I also want to leave you with a few tidbits the Lord has reminded me of and impressed upon me through this journey.

First, as I said above this is all a transformation process that will continue until we meet our Lord face to face. Look over how far the Lord has brought you and rejoice. Look forward to all that He still has to reveal to you with expectation and excitement. He will continually take you through these stages in one form or another. There are always more layers to peel back as He reveals Himself to us. Always remember He loves you and only wants what is best for you. He has a destiny for you, Beloved. You just need to give Him control of your life and He will lead you there.

Second, God looks at our hearts. I am doing a study of David with my house church right now. Or more specifically we are studying David’s heart. Have you ever wondered what the difference between Saul and David was? Both were anointed by Samuel per the Lord’s instructions, both were filled with the Holy Spirit in a time when the Holy Spirit did not make a habit of indwelling in people, both sinned quite grievously. However, in the end the Lord left Saul, never to return again, but He never left David. Why? It has to do with the heart. God knows that we will mess up at times. This is not an excuse for us to sin or to ignore the promptings of the Lord to confront the sin in our lives. However, please remember beloved, God knows your heart and that is what He honors, that is what pleases Him. Even when your flesh is not able to conform fully, He knows the desire in your heart to be fully transformed. He honors and is pleased by your heart!

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearances, but the Lord looks at the heart.” ~ 1 Samuel 16:7

The Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you. ~ 1 Chronicles 28:9

If you are like me you may read that last part above and think, “Ew, I don’t want Him to judge me based on my heart. I know my intentions are not always pure.” If you’ve ever felt like that or maybe do right now, I have a little secret for you that the Lord revealed to me. Are you ready for it?

Recognizing that your intentions are not always pure is part of what He is looking for. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed – “Lord, I desire you and only you. I want your will, not mine to be done. “ And then I pause and have to add - “And if there are any intentions in my heart or desires that are not in agreement with this, please reveal it to me and transform them!”

Even while knowing I desire the Lord, I know there are still parts of my heart that are selfish. I might as well admit these things to God, because He already knows. He knows my heart better than I do. And He is well pleased with us when we are able to be truthful with Him about what we know is in our hearts. That willingness to acknowledge the darkness in our hearts is what God desires of us. That is what pleases Him. David was called a man after God’s heart. Take some time and read David’s story and the psalms he wrote . He readily admits that his heart is not pure, that he had evil and selfish desires. The difference between David and others such as Saul, is that he acknowledges these things and lays them at God’s feet and asks for God’s Mercy and Transformation. That is a heart in which the Lord will be well pleased.

Today as you journal and pray acknowledge those intentions of your heart that are not pure. Ask the Lord to reveal any areas that are not pure and then confess those things and ask the Lord to transform them. Don’t be ashamed of your weaknesses, instead take them to the Lord and trade them in for His Strength. If you do you will hear Him whisper to you “Well, done my Beloved.” and you like David will be considered a man/woman after God’s heart.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

Blessings upon each of you and many thanks for allowing me to share in this journey with you.

Resting in Him,

Angela

God's Transformation Process - Part 3

Below is today's post that I did for SUM.

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As a new Christian, one of my favorite books to read was “Jesus Freak” by DC Talk. The book is a collection of true stories about individuals who have stood for and given their lives for Jesus. It is amazing and inspiring to read these stories. These are people who have lived out Jesus’ instructions to us:


Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ~ Matthew 22:36-39


“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. ~ Luke 6:27-28

These people have died standing for Jesus and the most inspiring thing is they do so while praying for and loving those who persecuted and killed them and their families. I remember reading these stories in awe and asking the Lord to strengthen my faith so that if I was ever placed in a similar situation I would be able to stand for Him like that and love my enemies.

However, recently the Lord has brought another scripture to mind for me

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. ~ Luke 16:10

Along with this scripture I hear the Lord whispering to me: “Beloved, can I trust you in the little things?”

Wow, talk about cutting deep. I start to remember that email I received from a co-worker the other day, the one where she threw me under the bus for something I did not do. I remember how as I read it I could feel the heat of anger literally start at the top of my head and pour down over me, leaving me trembling and having to walk away from my desk so I did not respond in an ungracious manner. Instead of praying for my enemy, all I wanted to do was blast her back and defend myself. I did not in the end, but I did let that anger fester and affect my future interactions with her. I did not pray for her or ask for blessings for her.

You see, loving our enemies is a grand and noble idea – until we actually have to put it into practice. Then we realize how very much we need the Lord to transform our hearts because we are not even capable of truly loving our family and friends, let alone our enemies. Our natural tendency is to defend ourselves, to feel entitled to be offended, hurt or angry. Only through God’s transformation process can we face these situations in our lives with a focus first on God and then on loving others, instead of focusing on ourselves.

A few months back, my husband and I got into a disagreement. I honestly don’t even remember what it was about. I do know I was angry and even though I knew the Lord wanted me to let it go, I was determined to wallow in my anger and hurt because I deserved it! (Oh, how we love to wallow in self-pity!) I had to go run some errands and I took my son (then 4 years old) with me. As we left he wanted to sing. I told him Mommy was not in the mood to sing but he could if he wanted. He started to sing a tune that I had taught him. It is called “Be Careful Little Eyes”. We’ve added other verses such as “be careful little hands, feet and ears”. But this day he added his own verse which we had never talked about before. As I drove down the road, blissfully wallowing in my self-pity and anger, my son’s sweet precious voice began to sing:

“Be careful little heart what you feel,

Be careful little heart what you feel,

Because the Father up above is looking down with love,

So be careful little heart what you feel.”

Amazing how God can speak to us through our children, the very ones we are supposed to be raising up and teaching the ways of the Lord to!

In our anger, we need to make sure we are turning our ears to the whisper of the Lord. He usually will not shout at us. He leaves it up to us to listen and follow His voice. We need to listen for His whisper telling us to love those around us instead of the world’s shout that says we are entitled to our anger. No matter how “right” we are in being angry at someone else’s actions or words, the Lord calls us to love. We have to decide what to focus on, what to obey and follow – the world’s view of what we are entitled to or the Lord’s whisper to deny ourselves and love as He loves us.

Over the past months I’ve been struggling with a question which I now believe the Lord put on my heart. How do you stand for God’s Truth in Love?

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. ~ 1 Peter 3:15-16

I’ve compared this to us walking a very narrow path with two very wide and deep ditches on each side. On one side is the Ditch of God’s Truth. This is where we fall when we focus on God’s Truth, His Righteousness and His Holiness. The other side is the Ditch of God’s Love. This is where we fall when we focus on God’s Love, Grace and Mercy. Neither appears to be a bad place to walk and they are easier to walk in because they are so wide! But the true character of our God is made up of both His Righteousness and His Grace. Our human nature has a very hard time combining these two characteristics. It is difficult for us to separate the sin from the sinner. We forget that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against things that are unseen to our natural eyes. The only way we can walk this narrow path is to focus on Jesus in front of us, leading us. We must open our hearts and minds to Him and Him alone.

As with my other prayers, God is answering this one as well. I tend to be a hands-on learner, and the Lord is teaching in the same way. He is showing me how to stand for His Truth in Love by having me do it in my daily life, in the little things - at work, at home, with my husband, my children, my friends, even strangers. I stumble and fall into one ditch or another more often than I can count. But I know that as soon as I’m done feeling sorry for myself and look to Him, He’ll be there holding out His hand, ready to pull me back up on the path and dust off the muck and mire.

Are you on the narrow path, focused on Jesus right now? Or are you walking in one of those wide ditches? In your anger, are you able to hear the whisper of the Lord and do you heed it? Are you able to separate the sin from the sinner? Are you able to stand for God’s Truth in Love? No? Then, are you ready to ask Him to give you the strength and wisdom to do so? Are you ready for some hands-on learning?

Dear Lord,
We ask that you transform our minds and hearts to love the way you love. Please keep us from anger and offense. Please help us to learn to hear your whisper in these times and to yield to You and Your desires for us. Give us wisdom to remember our battle is not against others, but forces and human nature which is unseen. Help us to separate the sin from the sinner. To stand in Your Truth against the sin, but to love the sinner as You love them. Give us Your Mind, Your Eyes, Your Heart!
In Jesus’ Precious Name,
AMEN!!!

God's Transformation Process - Part 2

Below is my week 2 post on SUM, I've been so busy I forgot to post it on my own blog! :)

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Last week I asked each of you to allow the Lord to show you the great affection He has for you. One fiction series I’m particularly fond of refers to this as the “Great Romance”. I LOVE that. Today I want to tell you about the second stage that the Lord took me through to begin transforming me into the likeness of Him. However, if you have not yet read last week’s post, I encourage you to do so first. I know without an understanding of how much God loved me, I would not have understood what He did next in my life.

I am a bit of a perfectionist and have been known to have some self-esteem issues. I actually have conversations in my head about what others are saying about me. Talk about creating your own issues! Needless to say, I have tended to have a lot of shame and guilt in my life. I tend to beat myself up at times for real and imagined wrongs that I’ve spoken and/or done. Understanding God’s deep love for me is what has broken these chains of bondage over my life. To be honest, they try to creep back in at times, but I’m learning to catch them and put them at the foot of the throne of Jesus. He alone can crush these thoughts.

As a new Christian we are taught that we are all sinners (Romans 3:23). We all have darkness in our hearts, hidden sins we hide from others. Sometimes we even hide them from ourselves. The enemy loves to scratch the surface of this evil/darkness that lives within us. He does so in order to shame us or tempt us, sometimes both. God however dives deep into the darkness of our souls and shines His Light on it in order to heal us.

My first bold prayer to do whatever it took to draw my husband to Him had resulted in my finally understanding how much my Savior cherishes me (don’t you love that word? He cherishes us!) My next bold prayer, prompted I know now by the Holy Spirit, was for the Lord to show me the Truth. To show me His Truth (the only Truth) no matter what that looked like. No matter how much it went against what I currently knew and believed.

Once again He heard my cry and was faithful to answer. Once again the results were not exactly what I expected. But oh, they were so much better than I could have ever imagined or hoped! He began to reveal to me all the ugliness of my heart – the selfishness, the pride, the arrogance, the controlling & rebellious nature that lives inside of me. These things when revealed by God’s Holiness and Righteousness were far more appalling than anything I could have ever created in my own mind. However, instead of beating myself up and becoming depressed about how horrible and what a failure I was, I actually felt hope. I finally understood the deep abiding love of my Creator and I knew that God was revealing these things in order to bring healing.

Last week Bonnie left the following comment regarding the Day 5 post:

“I feel like I've been packing so much garbage under some dirt & then planting flowers so no one notices the garbage. It feels like we're going to unearth & destroy the garbage so all that's left is healthy dirt and beautiful flowers...but He isn't playing it soft here. I have most definitely had to get some dirt on my hands & get in there with Him.”

That is exactly what God began to do in my life. I was able to finally let go of the darkness in me instead of dwelling on it. I was able to move forward and allow the Lord to refine and transform me as He removed the garbage from my life and replaced it with healthy rich soil.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise. ~Psalm 51:17

We say we want to be transformed, but we must realize that in order for the Lord to transform us He requires us to have a broken and contrite spirit. This does not mean that we have low self-esteem. It means we need to be humbled. I think many times today we think low self-esteem and humbleness are one and the same. That is the furthest thing from the truth. A Beth Moore study I’m going through right now explains it this way:

“Lack of confidence does not equal humility. In fact, genuinely humble people have enormous confidence because it rests in a great God.”

This concept has been life changing for me. I’ve spent my entire life battling low self-esteem by trying to prove I was smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, loyal enough, good enough! But real confidence comes not in whom we are or what we can accomplish – it comes from resting in the strength and abilities of our Awesome God! Our confidence is not in ourselves but in Him!

However, our human nature wants control, believes we need to be able to fix things by our own strength and knowledge. The funny thing I’m realizing is that the world sees low self-esteem and arrogance as being opposite of one another. In reality they are just different symptoms of the same root cause, the human disease called self-centeredness. In both cases, the root problem is that we are focused on ourselves instead of on Jesus.

We are not able in and of ourselves to set aside that human nature. I’ve spent years trying to get rid of this human nature in my own power so I can please God. Ironic since my thinking I can fix it myself comes from the very nature I was trying to rid myself of! We must go to the Lord and ask Him to show us these things in our lives and heal us of them. We must be ready for Him to humble us, to create a broken and contrite spirit in us. To give us a spirit and heart that fully recognizes that we are but humans, and He is our Sovereign Lord.

My question for you today is – do you dare ask the question? Are you bold enough to sincerely ask the Lord to reveal His Truth to you, regardless of what it looks like? Regardless of what beliefs you hold dear which may be destroyed by doing so? Regardless of how ugly and appalling it may be? Do you truly desire humbleness, a broken and contrite spirit and heart? Do you dare ask the Lord to show you who you really are so that He can begin to heal you and transform you into who He has destined for you to be?

"P.S. - For those of you who may have already prayed this prayer and are in this stage of your journey right now - I want to encourage you to persevere. It is very hard to have your true self revealed by God's Light, however the rewards at the end, a transformed mind and heart, are amazing and so well worth the refining period required to get there."

God's Transformation Process - Part 1

Below is my first post for the 30 Days: The Mind of Christ experiment at SUM.  Visit the SUM site to join the journey and read what Lynn and Dineen are sharing too!

* * * * * * * * * *

When Lynn first asked me to join her and Dineen for this 30 Day journey, my mind was filled with so many different things I could write about, things I’ve learned over the last couple years about having a mind and heart after Christ. Then as I began to meditate on these things I realized how very much I have yet to learn. In fact, this process of sharing my heart with all of you is just a continuation of my journey to put Christ on the throne of my life.

My journey began in earnest two years ago when I stumbled across this site and read a post about “the most dangerous prayer”. I prayed that night with a sincere heart. “Whatever it takes, Lord. Whatever it takes draw my husband to you.” The Lord heard my cry and responded, but not in the way I had anticipated.

You see, the Lord knew the best way to draw my beloved husband to Him was to use his wife to show him the love of Christ. And I can’t demonstrate the love of Christ if I am not of one mind and heart with Him.

The first step in my transformation process is what I want to share with you today. To have the mind of Christ, the heart of Christ, we must first love Him with all our heart. As my 5 year old son says “Love God with all my heart, that’s why He made me.” However, in order to do this, we must first begin to grasp the love He has for us, because without His love we would not be able to love Him.

We love Him because He first loved us. ~ 1 John 4:19

One of the first things we are told as a Christian is about how much God loves us, but do you really understand what that means? Has it truly sunk deep into your heart and taken root?

I had thought I understood how much God loved me, but it wasn’t until as couple months after my infamous prayer that I finally began to understand the great love of our God. I began a study on the Song of Solomon which finally hit home with me. I realized even though I said I knew God loved me, I only felt comfortable kneeling before Him when I thought I was being “good”. There was still a part of me deep down that was trying to earn His love. His love can’t be earned, but that is okay because we already possess it. We just need to realize that fact.

It may seem weird that at the beginning of a journey to make Christ our focus instead of ourselves, I would ask you to focus on how much YOU are loved. However I believe it is essential to being able to love Christ with all your heart. We can’t put him on the throne of our life if we don’t love Him wholeheartedly.

Psalm 18:19 says “He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me”.

God delights in you and wants to rescue you from whatever is consuming your focus in life right now. He knows that the only thing worth focusing on is Him and when we are able to do so the problems of this life fade. They don’t go away, but our perspective on them changes. We begin to see God’s reality instead of the world’s reality.

I ask each of you as we begin this journey to do some deep soul-searching and ask yourself this question. Do you really know how much the Lord loves you? Not because of who or what you are, but because of who He is. Meditate on 1 John 4:19. Ask God to reveal to you what this means, then be still and listen for His voice to answer you.

Click here for a link to the David Crowder Band page. There you can listen to the song, “How He Loves Us." I encourage you to find a quiet place to settle yourselves and listen to this song. Close your eyes, turn up the volume and let the words of this song wash over you and sink deep. He IS jealous for you and your love, you are His Beloved!

30 Day Journey - Update 1

Today is Day 2 of the 30 Days - Mind of Christ journey over at SUM.  If you have not already visited over there, I encourage you to take a look.  I believe this journey is going to be life changing for many, myself included.

I've been praying for this series now ever since Lynn shared with me what the Lord had laid on her heart and she asked me to join in this journey.  Friday the journey began and I found myself staying home from work and sleeping for most of the day due to being sick.  And today once again I found myself laid up in bed for the majority of the day.  What a way to start a series!  But I'm choosing to look at this as a blessing.  I've let myself get worn down lately and this illness has forced me into a much needed rest.

I'm also taking this as a good example as to why we need to put Jesus on the throne of our lives.  We can NOT do everything we want or even need to do on our own strength.  We must learn to lean on Jesus for the strength to do what He has called us to do, each and every day.

Thank you Lord for this reminder at the beginning of this journey.

30 Days - The Mind of Christ

A blog that I find very dear to my heart and has been a great blessing over the past couple years to me is starting what I believe is going to be an amazing journey tomorrow.  Over the next 30 days we are going to explore how to put Christ on the throne of your life.  Spiritually Unequal Marriage (SUM) is hosting this "experiment".  Please consider joining us in this journey.  It is not just for those who are unequally yoked, although some of the experiences shared will be related to this.

To read more about this please take a look at Lynn's first post introducing this journey

30 Days - The Mind of Christ

Then scroll through the other posts made by Lynn and Dineen leading up to the kickoff which will happen tomorrow, Friday, October 2nd.

I pray you will join us and run after having a mind and heart after Christ.

P.S. I have been asked to be a guest contributor on Monday's through this journey.  My first post will appear on Monday, October 5th.

Giving an Answer for your Faith and Hope

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.  But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.  ~1 Peter 3:15-16

I've heard the first part of these verses many times, but usually not the second part (amazing how much insight you receive when you start diving into the verses around those you've heard all your Christian life!)

It says when you give your answer to do this with gentleness and respect. How many times when we are questioned regarding our faith do we get defensive or even arrogant?  When asked about your faith do you remain gentle and respectful, even in the face of ridicule, mocking and even outright hatred?

David's Backstory - Saul - Self Esteem v. Humility

(Saul) - 1 Samuel 9-15

Israel insists on a king because they want to be like the other nations around them (1 Samuel 8:19-20). They had rejected God as their King (1 Samuel 8:7).

Samuel annoints Saul as directed by God. Saul has a good reputation, is handsome, strong and stands a head taller than anyone else in Israel. Similar to David, Saul when annointed and then later publicly appointed as king does not appear to let it go to his head. He did not try to build a palace or set up a throne. Instead, like David later does, he returns to his father's home and continues the work he was doing before he was annointed. And like David, we are told the Holy Spirit came on him in power.

We know David committed some very grievious sins later in his life. But what makes him different from Saul? God abandoned Saul, but never left David. Why?

I think the answer to this is very important. Not sure of the answer yet, but I do think I've pinpointed one thing that I need to address in my life.

One characteristic of Saul that stands out is that he was a people-pleaser and had self-esteem issues (when he was appointed king he was nowhere to be found because he was hiding in the baggage!) Self-esteem issues come from the same focus as those who are arrogant. The symptom which the world sees may be different, but the root is the same - a focus on self.

A lack of confidence does not equal humility. A truly humble person looks to the Master while a person with self-esteem issues is still looking to self. A truly humble person in reality has a great deal of confidence - not in themselves - but in the great God they serve.

This difference between lack of self-esteem and true humility is one I'm still trying to grasp - and one that I really don't see as being an issue in David's life. What do you think?

Tormented in Your Righteous Soul?

2 Peter 2 starts off talking about false teachers and their destruction.  It speaks of the righteous and godly who were spared when God's judgment fell on the wicked.  It speaks of Noah being spared when God brought the flood to destroy the world.  It speaks of Lot being spared when the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.

While reading this chapter, one verse stuck out and a question whispered through my mind.  Verse 8 says about Lot:

for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard.

The question I keep coming back to is "Am I tormented in my righteous soul by the deeds I see and hear all around me?"

In the past when I saw or heard things that were evil, things that went against God's Truth, I would become indignant.  How could they?  I would speak out at times, other times I would not, but either way I would smolder with righteous anger.

But lately I've noticed that has changed.  As I've prayed for the Lord to give me His Eyes and His Heart for others I've found that while I do still get angry about certain things, I am filled with an even more powerful emotion.  A soul wrenching sadness.  It is as if the Lord has begun to open my eyes to the person beneath it all.  Instead of seeing someone evil and defiant of God, I now more often see the deceived and lost soul underneath - the person who is hiding behind a facade of defiance and self-reliance.  A person just like I used to be and honestly still am at times.

There are times I actually find myself in horrible internal agony for a person, tears and sometimes sobs rise up in me for a particular person and the only relief is for me to pray for that person.

I would not say that I am necessarily in torment all the time regarding the evil around me, but the Lord has begun to transform my heart and open my eyes to how He sees others.  It is amazing and heartbreaking at the same time.

I never would have thought in the past that I would find myself praying for more torment in my soul, but I do find myself desiring this - to more fully understand how God sees and feels for others.  To feel the love He has for them and along with that the sadness that He feels when those He loves dearly choose to turn away from Him.

Effective & Productive Godly Lives

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. ~ 2 Peter 1:3

I take this verse as saying if we have knowledge of (or in other words, a relationship with) Jesus, then we will have all we need for our lives and all we need to live godly lives.

So then the question becomes how do we have a relationship with Him? I would answer that with another question. How do you cultivate any relationship? You must spend time with the person, put aside your selfish desires and ambitions in order to listen to them and get to know them. Take the time and make the effort to learn and understand their mind and heart.

So, my next question is are we spending time regularly with Jesus? AND is that time spent talking about us or putting ourselves aside in order to truly know His mind and heart?

2 Peter 1 goes on to say we should make every effort to add to our lives the following things:

• faith
• goodness
• knowledge
• self-control
• perseverance
• godliness
• brotherly kindness
• love

For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ~ 2 Peter 1:8

I think this is one of those circles that build upon themselves. Notice it says to possess these in increasing measure. That means we can always use more, we should always seek more.

Spending time getting to know our Savior will increase these qualities in our lives as we know Him better and give Him more control of our lives. Having these qualities increases our ability to know Him better - it is a never ending circle.

As sinful humans we are not able to possess these qualities without our Savior so the best way to get this cycle going is to spend regular time in the Word, in prayer and fasting, in worship in order to see God's heart. As we begin to understand and follow His heart, these qualities will grow in us and we will become effective and productive members of God's Kingdom.

My Heart Aches

I am part of an online group of mom's with various forums in which I interact. A mom on one of the forum's today had the following in her signature:

• The bad news is God does not exist
• The good news is you don't need him

Wow! I read this, did a double take, reread it and then as it sunk in felt like the breath had been knocked out of me!

In the past this might have made me really angry but not anymore. Instead I was filled with sorrow. My heart hurt for this person and her family. Not only does she believe this, she feels strongly enough to put it in her signature. The second part hurts the most. I can't imagine living without my Savior and I hurt to think of how much it hurts Jesus to have one of His creation claim this. Imagine one of your children who you love dearly and would give your life for saying this about you!

This world is so lost and so very blind and clueless to the fact. Just because they think they don't need Him, doesn't make it true.

My heart and prayers go out to those who are still blinded by the prince of this world. I pray the Holy Spirit opens their eyes and hearts to the Lord and their desparate need of Him. We all desparately need Him!

My "Right" to Retaliate

1 Peter 2:23
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

The above verse written by Peter is talking of Jesus, who was without sin, totally innocent but when he was falsely accused and then crucified, never once retaliated in anyway. Even though he could have called down all the angels of heaven to save him, he did not.

My "innocence" is but ashes next to him, but I often believe I have the right to retaliate against those who have wronged me. Even the wrongs that others have perpetrated against me are but mere inconveniences compared to what Jesus suffered.

According to the world though I do have a right to retaliate. If someone speaks badly of me or takes the wrong tone with me, I have the right in the eyes of the world to complain and point out what they have done. The worse the offense, the more "rights" I have.

But as a follower of Him, I am bound not by the rules of this world. I live in the Kingdom of Heaven, ruled by the mighty Creator of ALL creation, not in the kingdom of the world which is darkness. So if I don't live for this world, why do I choose my "rights" based on this world?

National Day of Repentance

Today is the National Day of Repentance. Please take some time to interced on behalf of our nation and to ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal to you anything that you are in need of repenting.

To learn more about this please visit Days of Repentance

This Declaration of Repentance is a good way to start your prayers. Some of us at my work got together this morning to pray this together and then we walked around our building in prayer.

Sincere Heart

Hebrews 10 :22
Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

This verse tells us not only to draw near to God, but to do so with a sincere heart. I want to draw near to God, but how sincere is my heart? In the past I would have said, “yes, definitely!” but anymore I in all honesty say that.

It is not because I have changed, as if I had a sincere heart at one time but no longer do. Instead it is that I have started to see myself and my motives more clearly recently. I’ve come to see how much selfishness I have in my heart and how much I still cling to the things of this world – material things, worldly thinking and reasoning, worldly desires, the praises of men.

So then the question becomes, if I say I want to draw close to God – what is my reason? If I don’t have a sincere heart then is it because I want something from Him? I’m still seeing Him as a genie in a bottle who will perform as I desire if I just learn the correct way to appease Him?

Lord,
Please transform my heart. Cleanse me of the things of this world which in my weakness I continue to grasp. Soften my heart that I may draw near to You.


Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.
(Psalm 51:10-12)

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God,
you will not despise.
(Psalm 51:17)

Spiritual Foundations

Ephesians 2:19-22

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In Him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in Him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit.

Too often we forget Jesus as the chief cornerstone of our spiritual foundation. The one who joins us all together to be a holy temple for the Lord. If we leave out that chief cornerstone and put our focus on anything else (no matter how "good" it may be), we are building on perishable, unstable materials. No matter how beautiful it may look on the outside, the inside is unstable and condemned. It will not last, it will fall and crumble into ashes.

More times than I can count the Lord has revealed to me that I am once again building upon the wrong foundation. I need to keep my focus on Jesus. Doctrine, the church I attend, rules I follow, good works I do - none of them mean anything if my focus and motivation is not Jesus.

I Can Do All Things

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. ~ Phillippians 4:13

Funny thing about reading the Bible - it is the Living Word of God and as such God will use it to reveal something new to you each time you read it if you are open and willing to listen to the Holy Spirit.

The scripture above includes giving me strength in learning to bite my tongue, even when I have the "right" to speak out. To love and be kind and gentle even when I'm not being loved. To forgive even when things are being held against me that are not true.

Why?

Because it is not about me or my fragile feelings. It is about Him and following Him. Bringing Him glory and letting His light shine through me to those who need Him most. It is about focusing on Him - not my "rights", my pride or my ego. It is about being content in Him regardless of my circumstances.

Lord,
help me to remember this when I feel the anger rising up, when my pride is hurt, when I start to feel sorry for me because nobody understands. Help me to remember to focus on You and lean into You.
~Amen

Cease striving and know that I AM God. ~ Psalm 46:10

Source of our Good Works

Everyone (or at least every "good" Christian) knows the verses Ephesians 2:8-9, but last night as I read through Ephesians 2 it struck me how that is like cutting off a thought midway. While those verses are good, I really think we do an injusticce by leaving out verse 10.

8 For it is by grace you have been samve, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God - 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
~Ephesians 2:8-10

I read this and realize not only is my salvation the work of God and not something for me to take pride in - but the good works that I do for God as a result of my salvation are also His doing - "which God prepared in advance for us to do". Therefore, I can't boast of them either because without Him they would be nothing, worthless, non-existent.

Predestined before the World Began

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight, He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.
~ Ephesians 1:4-5

Once again I find myself pondering this verse in amazement. My mind grapples with the idea that He chose me to be holy and blameless even before He created the world! The whole idea of free will and an all-knowing God blows my mind. I am in wonder. And then to know that He chose me!

He adopted me - even knowing what a mess I would make of my life, knowing how many times I would fail Him, turn my back on Him - He chose to adopt me! Why?? Because it pleased Him. He takes pleasure in me - mess and all!

WOW!!!!

Self-examination: Pride (Striking the Rock)

I'm reading a book right now that has me re-examining my life as a Christian quite a bit. It is full of little Truths that when I truly look at my life, I'm realizing that I've not been living my life as much for the Lord as I might have once imagined. I'm beginning to look deeply within myself at my motives, my priorities, my focus and I'm not always very happy with what I see. But the good news is I know as the Lord reveals these things to me I can take them to Him and He will heal me.

So, here is the most recent self-examination:

Numbers 20:1 - 13 tells about how the Israelites arrived at the Desert of Zin which is where Miriam died and was buried. Once again as had happened several times during their wanderings, there was no water and the Israelites began to complain. Moses and Aaron went to the entrance of the Tent of Meeting and the Lord spoke to them. He was very clear in His directions.

"Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock from the community so they and their livestock can drink." (emphasis added - Numbers 20:8)

Moses gathered the Israelites, but instead of just speaking to the rock, he took the staff and struck the rock. Not once, but twice. The Lord cause water to pour forth as He had promised, but Moses actions had consequences.

"Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them." (Numbers 20:12)

In the past I've read this and just not gotten it. I guess I've been under the assumption that Moses struck the rock out of anger because he was so sick and tired of the Israelites complaining. But the Lord's response leads me to wonder if that was not the true reason for Moses actions. That to root of that action was something much deeper. Regardless, I can only imagine the despair that must have filled Moses when he learned his actions were going to keep him from the Promised Land.

The book I'm reading speaks of this incident and relates it to our lives as Christians in today's world.

"The body of Christ today is encouraged to search the Scriptures for desired promises, hold those Scriptures up to God and demand fulfillment. This could be the ultimate demonstration of the pride of man. This uses God's authority and principles for self-promotion! The Lord wants us to learn to use the rod - but for His purposes. When pride (self-centeredness) enters into spiritual authority, we are in grave danger. He is seeking those who "tremble at His word" to be His habitation
(Isaiah 66:1-2). We must treat Him as holy or we, like Moses, may find ourselves banned from the promised land."
(There Were Two Trees in the Garden by Rick Joyner)

When I read this the first time I was struck with a holy fear. Have I been doing this in my life? Moses was described as the most humble man on the face of the earth (Numbers 12:3). If this humblest man on the earth can fall victim to pride and self-centeredness, someone who has basked in the glory of the Lord to the extent that he had to wear a veil on his face, what makes me think that I won't fall in the same way?

This is why it is so extremely important for me to continue to ask the Lord to show me areas of my life where pride is taking root (or already has) and to ask Him to pull out these things from my life. It is only through Him and by His power that this can be done. The process of pulling these "weeds" out of my life may be painful at times, but being told by the Lord that I won't see the promised land because I've not honored Him as holy is far worse.

Answers in Colossians

I'm part of a Christian email distribution group at work which I've found to be very interesting. This group has Christians from all walks of life and the discussions get very 'animated' at times. Recently a post by one member led to discussions regarding how we are to stand for God's Truth, among other Believers and to the rest of the world. I've share before how I constantly wrestle with what it looks like in my life to stand for God's Truth in Grace.

I want to stand for God and His Truth and I know at times that means I will offend others. But I don't want to offend someone needlessly, offend them just to offend them. In fact, I don't want to offend anyone at all. If something I do or say offends someone I want it to be God and His Word that offends them, his Truth piercing their conscience, not my way of presenting that Truth.

Last night as I was reading through Colossians I wrote the following verses in my journal under two headings. I've decide these verses are definitely worth studying closer and asking the Lord to help me properly apply them in my life.

Under the heading "picture of how we are to live and interact as a Body of Christ"

~ Colossians 3:12 - 17
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Under the heading "How to deal with those who are not Believers"

~ Colossians 4:5-6
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Trading our Birthright?

I'm reading a book right now called "There Were Two Trees in the Garden" by Rick Joyner. Tonight I was reading a chapter that begins talking about Jacob and Esau. It speaks of how we will read this story and wonder how in the world could Esau give up his birthright for a bowl of stew, no matter how hungry he is. But are we really any different when we look at our lives honestly.

The Lord Jesus purchased with His precious blood the opportunity to dwell before the very throne of God. How easily we trade this privilege! Many Christians will spend more time each before worthless television programs than they do in the Word of God or in prayer.
(There Were Two Trees in the Garden)

Ouch! How many times have I done this? How often do I still? No just television, but also on the computer or a number of other ways. I need to re-examine my time.

But more importantly I need to change my perspective - I need to realize that time spent in prayer and God's Word is the same as sitting at the foot of God's Throne, being in communion with Him. Not only that, but also that it is not a thing to take for granted, something to do when I feel like it. It is a privilege, one that I should cherish, one that was purchased by another for me by the shedding of His precious blood.

Looking at it in that way sure changes your perspective and your priorities.

What Is My Mind Set Upon?

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.
~Romans 8:5-6

Read this last night and it made me stop and consider what I live by and what controls my life. I say I’m a Christian and the Spirit of God lives within me, but I must look deep and examine the fruits. Do they testify to that? Questions to ask myself:

1. Does the fruit of my life attest me being focused on the desires of God or on my own selfish desires? I need to look deep because sometimes my selfish desire may be disguised as desires of God. Have I justified them to myself in such a way?

2. Does the fruit of my mind produce life and peace? Or does it produce death, discord and discontent?

Righteous Live By Faith (another lesson from Romans)

For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”
~ Romans 1:17

I’ve always thought of this last line as saying that if someone is righteous, they have faith. In other words, without faith in our Creator God & Savior, you can’t truly be righteous. I still believe this to be true, but today as I read these words another meaning came to mind.

What if these words are not just describing a characteristic of a righteous person? What if these words are a “heads up”, a warning if you will, to those who are pursuing righteousness? It is not worded to say, to be righteous you must have faith – it says the righteous live by faith.

I think this very well may fly in the face of many of the “prosperity” messages we often hear in Christian circles today. Why? Because when everything is going good in your life and everyone likes you and agrees with you – what need do you have for living by faith?

Maybe living by faith means that even when in the world’s eyes things are falling apart around you (finances, relationships, health, etc) you still have hope, peace and love because you know the Lord is directing your path. He is holding you up in your weakness and you are trusting in the future He has for you, no matter what it may look like to others.

This is not to say that if you are righteous your life will be falling apart around you, or that if things are going well in your life, you are not righteous. But I do have to wonder if Paul is referring to the fact that when you are truly living for God, you will be required to live by faith because things are not always going to be rosy. Just look at Paul’s life. By the world’s standards once he started following Jesus, his life took a total nose-dive. But by heaven’s standards a different story is told.

The righteous live by faith – am I ready to be righteous?

Obedience Through Faith

Through him and for his name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith.
~Romans 1:5

We always talk about people "coming to faith" and we speak of how salvation is through faith, not by works. However, true faith and salvation will change us. While we can't do anything to earn salvation, once we have it, it should change us and that change should be evidenced in our lives, it should bear fruit.

We don't change into a perfect person overnight, but we are being transformed from the inside by the Spirit that now lives within us. The change or fruit of our lives that I believe leads to all others is obedience. Obedience to our Lord and Savior, which means totally surrendering and submitting our lives to Him, making Him our sole focus. This does not happen overnight either, but I believe it is the key to true transformation and evidence of true faith.

Paul opens his letter to the Roman church with the above verse. What caught my eye was the end of the sentence - "the obedience that come from faith."

If I am truly a Child of God, a Child of Faith - shouldn't my life be evidence of my obedience to my Lord?

To Judge or Not to Judge

I've been reading 2 Corinthians and something that has been a bit confusing to me in the past has come to the surface again. It is about judging. God had revealed to me recently just how judgmental I can be and has been working on this in my life (among other things). While that is something I need to work on, I often wonder, are we truly not to judge in any way at all?

I'm part of a Christian email distribution group at work, and this very often comes up. Someone will make a comment which in effect judges the actions of someone in the media. What always follows is a debate (sometimes very heated unfortuately) about whether or not we are to judge others and if so, how exactly do we do that? What exactly are we to judge? Some will say that we can't judge a person's heart but we can judge their actions/fruit. Others say we should not judge at all.

Many on the list and elsewhere in the world will fall back on verses that say we are not to judge others, that only God can judge. I do believe that only God can judge a person's heart - however, is that the end of it? Is it accurate to say that as Christians we are not to judge others in any way, shape or form?

If the answer is yes, isn't Paul in the wrong then? If you read 2 Corinthians he is judging the actions of the Corinthian church and those he labels as "super apostles". He makes it clear, in my opinion, that he is making his observations because he cares deeply for the church. But some of his words are pretty harsh when you read them.

The more I think about this the more I realize this is one of those things that goes round and round and round. By noting that Paul is judging in 2 Corinthians, aren't I judging him and his words? On the email distribution list, those pointing out that others should not judge are actually judging as well, arent' they?

Oh my, I think my brain is going to explode! Seems like every time God reveals something to be addressed in my life, I end up with more questions than answers. But then I guess that is a good thing. As Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

What Fragrance Are You? - Part 2

For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.

~ 2 Corinthians 2:15-16

Since my last post I've been thinking about this verse quite a bit. What does it mean exactly to be the smell of death to those who are perishing?

In the past I was very exuberant about my relationship with the Lord. To be honest, I was a bit pushy and annoying. Not at all Christ-like. At that time though I probably would have told you that if my beliefs annoyed you, it was because you did not have a relationship with God. I've learned the hard way though that being obnoxious is not what God has called us to, nor does it draw others to Him. Only His Love will do that and we can't show that Love to others when we are being annoying. We are only promoting ourselves and our own self-righteousness.

Looking back to the years before I came to know the Lord, I realize He was pursuing me the entire time. I think I experienced that smell of death during those years. I could talk the talk with many "religious" people and actually enjoyed doing so. But when I found myself in the company of true Christ-followers things changed. Those whose focus was on Jesus and letting His Glory and Love shine through them, rather than trying to prove their own righteousness put me on edge. It was nothing they did themselves, as they always treated me with nothing but love and respect, but I always felt like I was on the hot seat. Like they could see right through me to who I really was, to the person I did not even want to see.

I know now that they did not really have this "power", but the Holy Spirit who lived within them does have that power. It was His voice calling to me that made me so uncomfortable. His voice was the smell of death to me because I was not yet ready or willing to hear Him.

So, is that what this verse is speaking of? The fragrance that we give off is the Holy Spirit living within us who speaks to those we come in contact with?

I think those who are perishing are not necessarily those who don't know the Lord, but those who don't know Him and are not seeking Him. I believe the Spirit living within us is Life to those who have the same Spirit in them and Life to those who are truly seeking the Lord, though they may not yet know Him. He is only death to those who are still convinced that they are not in need of His Grace and Love.

What Fragrance Are You?

I'm reading through 2 Corinthians right now and came across this verse the other day. Made me start to think - what kind of fragrance am I to others?

For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.
~ 2 Corinthians 2:15-16

I had never really thought of it in this way before. Something to meditate on - am I truly a fragrance of life to those who know God and the smell of death to those who don't know Him? If I can't say "Yes" I may need to re-examine how I am living my life. Am I truly letting the fragrance of Jesus, my Savior, flow through me to the world?

Nick Vujicic - Life Without Limbs

Sunday morning I had the privilege to hear Nick Vujicic speak at a local church. Amazing and inspiring! Intense and convicting!

Nick is a man who was born 26 years ago with no arms or legs and no explanation from the doctors as to why he was born that way. His parents were just told that he would not be able to do anything for himself and would be a burden to them and others for the rest of his life.
At a young age Nick prayed for the Lord to provide him with a miracle, to give him arms and legs. He promised God that if He gave him this miracle, he would travel the world telling others of how great our Creator is and of the miracle that the Lord did in his life. But as Nick said on Sunday, God chose not to give him his miracle, instead He chose to make Nick a miracle for thousands of others.

Nick now travels the world sharing the Love and Hope that are in Jesus Christ with others, but still without arms or legs. He tells others of how even when God does not change your circumstances, He is still with you and still loves you. He has other plans for you that are greater than anything you can imagine because many times those same circumstances you are trying to avoid, are the very best way for Him to show His Glory, Mercy, Grace, Love and Hope through you.

Nick shared on Sunday about the Peace he has in God, even when things are not going well. He shared about the love of Christ and how it can heal anyone if we just accept it. He talked of how even if we have it all together on the outside, it is all for nothing if we don’t have the Peace that comes with knowing our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is the inside that matters, not the outside.

When you see God using someone like Nick, who has no arms and legs, in such a might way, our excuses start to sound pretty lame. God can and will use us if we just choose to submit to Him and allow Him to lead our lives. Nick also made another good point. He said we often compare our circumstances to that of others so we can feel better. You know, things are bad for us but at least we have it better than so-and-so. But as Nick pointed out, that is just temporary peace – just us trying to mask the pain and hurt. The only true way to heal ourselves of whatever we are going through or will be going through is to have a relationship with God and allow Him to heal us from the inside out.

I highly encourage you to check out Nick’s ministry – Life Without Limbs. He has quite a few videos on the site which are very inspiring and are worth taking some time to view.

Miss California's uncompromised answer

I guess I don't keep up on the news as much as maybe I should - but I just heard about this today. Miss California (Carrie Prejean) in the Miss USA pageant was asked a very controversial question which some say may have cost her the Miss USA crown.

The question was "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?" asked by Perez Hilton.

Miss California's answer was "Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman."

Perez Hilton later commented that she lost the crown not because of her opinion but because of how she answered the question (give me a break!). He says she could have answered it in a way that would have held true to her beliefs without alienating others. He has said that she did not answer the question asked.

What??? He asked her what she thought about other states following Vermont's example in regards to gay marriage and specifically asked her why or why not? That is exactly what she did. She answered why she believed what she believed. People are saying she is to answer as Miss USA, not as her personal beliefs. I don't know about you, but if Miss USA is someone that has to sugar coat their beliefs in the name of being politically correct then I have a major issue with Miss USA. I guess Miss USA should be renamed Miss Politically Correct.

One comment from Carrie in a subsequent interview was that it is not about being politically correct - it is about being biblically correct. Amen girl! I for one support her 100% and am very proud of her for standing up for God's Word and her beliefs, even though she had to have known it would cost her all that she had been working so hard to accomplish.

I believe this is a good example of our country right now. We are a nation who is so concerned with being politically correct and sugar-coating things so that nobody feels bad about sin in their lives that we have compromised our morals, we spit in the face of God's Truth. Then we wonder why our country is faltering.

I pray that more of us would have the convictions and courage of Carrie to stand for our beliefs and God's Truth. Unfortunately we are living in a time when God' Truth is often offensive to others, a time when we are being pressured to be "tolerant" of all sin. A time when the only thing that is not tolerated is God's Word. We must each make a choice - as we grow closer to the Lord and He reveals His Truth to us, will we stand by Him or will we be politically correct in order to gain man's approval?

1 Corinthians - Wisdom & Foolishness

In the 1st chapter of 1 Corinthians Paul says he has been sent to preach the gospel which is not with "words of human wisdom". He then goes on to say the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are lost, but the power of God to those who are saved!

Wow - what a powerful message! In fact, I have been reading 1 Corinthians 1 over and over again the last few days. Just letting this all really sink in. It seems to speak so much to me right now, especially with all that is going on in our world right now.

I praise God that He put this knowledge in my heart as I know it is only by His grace and mercy that I'm able to recognize the gospel of Jesus as being the Power of God. It is only by His power that this message is made known to me, the knowledge of understanding Truth!

If you have a moment - I encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 1:18-31 - these verses are amazing. They are so true and give such hope. True wisdom is of God - all else falls dreadfully short!

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
~ 1 Corinthians 1:25

Drawn from Water - Please Read

A friend of mine recently shared this site with me. He knows someone personally who is involved with this group. I encourage you to read the testimony on this page and watch the video.

Drawn from Water is an organization that has set up an orphanage in Ethiopia for children from the Kara tribe. This is a tribe with a superstition regarding evil spirits. The word Mingi is used by this tribe to describe individuals that are believed to be cursed. Parents in this tribe are required to kill their own children by drowning them in the river if they are labeled as Mingi.

What things make a person Mingi? Many different things but one of the most common is a child whose top teeth come in before their bottom teeth. This tribe believes these children must be killed to rid the tribe of evil which will curse the entire tribe. Some of the children are labeled Mingi before they are even born. Can you imagine carrying a child in your womb who you already love, knowing that soon after the baby is born you will be required by your tribe to drown that precious baby?

This group has set up an orphanage to take in these children so they are not killed. The ages of the children rescued so far are between four months and five years. As I read the post from the YWAM missionary involved in getting this set up I was in tears. As I watched the video at the top of the page I kept seeing my own son's face, he is 4 1/2. I can't even imagine being told that I needed to kill him to keep evil from my tribe.

Please take time to visit this site and consider doing whatever you can to help rescue these precious children. If nothing else, please pass this website on to others so it gets exposure.

Resurrection Cookies

I made these with my daughter last year (she was 6 1/2 then) and this year I plan to make them with all three kids tomorrow night. It is a wonderful way to help the kids understand what Jesus did for us and to focus the day on the One we should be focused on instead of bunnies, chocolate, eggs and candy.

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

Resurrection Cookie Recipe
1 cup whole pecans
1 teaspoon vinegar
3 egg whites
Pinch of salt
1 cup granulated sugar
Zip-lock plastic bag
Wooden spoon
Tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Place pecans in zip-lock bag and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested he was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3. Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11. Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27.

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Psalms 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah1:18 and John 3:1-3. Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matt. 27:65-66.
GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Resurrection morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Resurrection day Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matthew 28:1-9.

HE HAS RISEN!

Prop 8 Backpedaling?

A friend sent me one of the below articles which desparately saddened me. I've been sitting here debating what to say about it and I must say I'm at a loss for words.

All I know is one of my biggest struggles is learning to please God and not worry about pleasing men. I don't want to needlessly offend men, but I am determined to stand for God's Truth. I think there are many who struggle with this as well and I believe the Church overall (at least in America) is more worried about how it looks in the eyes of men rather than God's view of it.

Now an individual who is highly respected in the Church and is a shepard to many is backpedaling in regards to God's Word. Rick Warren who just weeks before the elections fully and publicly supported Prop 8 and said he recognized marriage to be between a man and a woman has now announced on Larry King Live that he now regrets backing Prop 8.

When such a public and well-respected Church leader backpedals regarding support for God's Truth, it convinces me even more that America and the Church is losing its focus. Our focus should be on Jesus and God's Truth, not the opinion of men.

Warren's backsliding
Rick Warren disavows support for Prop 8
CBN News

Unfortunately for him, many who oppose Prop 8 are also criticizing Rick for his latest statements on Monday. While I and many others see those statements as backpedaling and/or caving into pressure from others, they are seeing it as him lying about his true convictions.

As a sidenote, I will link to Saddleback Church's released statement after Monday's comments. Not sure that I believe this, but I guess I should probably give the benefit of the doubt.

Statement from Saddleback Church

Ok - so I guess I wasn't as such a loss for words!

Bella - Movie Recommendation

I had the chance to see the movie Bella for the first time last night (I know, I'm a bit behind the game, but that's what happens with a full-time job and three small kids. Most movies I see anymore are animated!)

I highly recommend this movie. It was beautiful and very powerful.

The movie is about two individuals Jose & Nina. Jose is an ex-soccer player whose future drastically changed when he was involved in a tragic accident. He now works as the head chef at his brother's restaurant. Nina is a young single woman who also works at the restaraunt. At the beginning to the movie she finds out she is pregnant and gets fired in the same day. Jose befriends her for the day as she tries to deal with her situation. The movie follows them for the day and reveals the healing that takes place in both of their lives as a result of this newfound friendship.

If you have not yet seen this movie please do. It is a powerful message about life, compassion and healing.

A Tribute to C.S.

I don't know who to give credit to for this, nor do I know if it was really printed in the London Times - but regardless, it speaks truth. . .


An Obituary printed in the London Times........

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.