Saturday, December 27, 2008

Am I prepared?

I'm reading a fiction series of books right now set in Germany. The first book is set between 1937 - 1944, during WWII. As I read about these fictional characters, including Christians who risked their lives and those of their families to save Jewish families, God's chosen, I can't help but imagine what it must have been like for those running/hiding for their lives and those assisting them during that time. While these characters are fictional, I realize they represent real people and real events. Families that were torn apart and killed just because of their heritage. People and families who risked their lives to stand against the evil of that day to try to help those who were being hunted down like they were nothing more than animals.

I ask myself the question - what if it was me and my family? How would I feel? How would I react? Would my faith crumble or grow stronger? Would I choose to follow Jesus, obey Him and possibly give up my life in this world doing so? Which life would be most precious to me, which life would be the bigger reality for me? This physical life or my eternal life? When it came down to it, when push came to shove, would I say yes and follow my Lord or would I turn my back and deny Him?

As I ponder these things I realize there could be a possibility of myself or my children having to one day make decisions such as this. Am I preparing my heart, nurturing my relationship with the Father in such as way that if and when that time comes my reality, hope and desire will be eternal regardless of the cost in this brief physical life? What am I doing to prepare my children? I realize the first step is to nurture my relationship with the Lord. No matter what I try to teach these precious little ones that that Lord has given me, nothing will speak louder than my own life and how I've chosen to live it.

Dear Lord,
I fear that when I look into my heart what I see is not the faith and character that would be required of me in similar circumstances. I realize the only way to ever obtain this though is to walk with you, to be your true disciple. Shine your light on those dark places in my heart that would not conform right now to You and Your Ways. Fan the flame in my heart so that it consumes me. Where my motives are not pure, please transform me. I want to be a true disciple of You, but know that I can't do this in my own power. Please nurture within me the heart and spirit that you desire for me to have.

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