His Love / Our Darkness

Awhile back, someone I know had shared about how they were going through a phase right now where God is revealing to them what they look like, who they are, without His Grace to cover them. He said he had actually been asking the Lord to show him this and he talked about how the Lord showing him this would put him on his face in front of the Lord, weeping.

I remember at the time when I heard this, thinking it was amazing. Imagine how much closer to the Lord this experience would bring you. However, at the same time I was incredulous because I could not imagine asking the Lord to show me that about myself. I had not yet started the Song of Solomon study that I am currently in. I did not yet even begin to understand how much the Lord loved me or how beautiful I am to Him. I couldn't imagine seeing the opposite side of the coin.

Now that I've been going through the Song of Solomon study, the Lord has been bringing numerous other things into my life to help me to understand just how very much I mean to Him and how much He loves me. I'm amazed at just the little bit that I am now starting to understand. How much He loves me, because that is what He created me for, not because of anything that I do.

With this though He has shown me something else. While reading the Final Quest by Rick Joyner, I came to the chapter called The White Throne. I wrote briefly about some of this chapter in the posts The Sheep and the Goats as well as Focus: Ministry or People.

In this chapter, Rick's vision has brought him to the Throne Room of Christ. He begins to see himself and others that he has thought of as great Christians, as they really were on earth. He begins to see that what we see here in our lives is not necessarily reality. It began to make me think about what I really look like without God's grace. While thinking about this I realized something:

Until we can start to see what we look like to God without His Grace, we can not fully appreciate His Grace or how beautiful we are to Him through His Grace.

I don't know that I'm at the point that I'm ready for Him to show me who I am without Him or His Grace. I'm don't believe we can ever be truely ready for that experience. I'm just beginning to understand the darkness that is within me without my Lord and the love that He holds for me regardless. It has been an amazing experience so far!

Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem,

dark like the tents of Kedar,

like the tents curtains of Solomon

~Song of Solomon 1:5