Prop8 and Education

Opponents of Prop 8 will tell you that the Supporters of Prop 8 are lying about the effect on education if this is not passed.

Many sites (including mine) have pointed out what has happened in Massachusetts where parents are being told they not only can't opt-out their children from homosexual and same sex marriage discussions/indoctrination, but that they have no right to have a say in what their children are taught. Opponents will tell you that California will not be like that because we have a right to opt-out in this state, supposedly Massachusetts did not have this.

So - how do you know who is telling the truth? You don't have to look far because what the Opponents of Prop8 say will not happen here, has in fact already begun.

Class Surprises Lesbian Teacher on Her Wedding Day
A class of 1st graders went on a field trip to their lesbian teacher's wedding. Now from what I've read, in this case the children were required to get permission slips, however in order to justify the field trip as being academically related it was deemed as a "teachable event".

"It really is what we call a teachable moment," Jaroflow said, noting the historic significance of same-sex marriage and related civil rights issues. "I think I'm well within the parameters."

So much for those who say homosexual lifestyles are not discussed in the school, especially at such a young age (opponents of Prop8 claim this as well as many blog commenters who insist on calling those of us who support Prop8 liars!)

However, even more disturbing is the following story:

School Holds Surprise Gay Day for Kindergartners
A "Coming Out Day" was held today at this school in California (not far from Sacramento). Other events include celebrating Gay and Lesbian History Month and observing "Ally Week" which usually targts high school students.

Even more disturbing is the fact that the school did not see the need to inform any of the parents of these events. They have confirmed the events are taking place, but they are not listed on the public calendar! How are parents supposed to "opt-out" as we keep being told we have the right to do in California if we are not being informed of what our children are being taught! Click on the link above and read the full article yourself!

Regardless of how you feel about same-sex marriage, this country has a freedom of religion right. As parents we have a right (and a God-given duty) to teach our children morals.

Even if for some reason you don't believe that I have a right to teach my children morals - it can not be denied that the claims of the Prop8 opponents that this will not affect our children's education are lies. It is already affecting our children's education and being pushed down our throats. In the words of San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom - "The door's wide open. It's going to happen whether you like it or not!" - Well Gavin, not if I can help it!

Pray for our Nation - Jeremiah 19

I don't want my blog to become a doomsayer blog, but my highest priority in life it to follow the Lord. I want to fear Him more than I fear man. As I'm reading through Jeremiah I can't help but think it is timely for our nation, as I've mentioned before.

I will be posting other things on my blog (a review of Fireproof which I watched last night is forthcoming) - but expect that each morning as I read Jeremiah and the Lord points out verses to be applied to our nation at this time - I will be sharing.

Today I read Jeremiah 19 - the Lord brought the following verses to the forefront:

For they have forsaken me and made this a place of foreign gods; they have burned sacrificies in it to gods that neither they nor their fathers nor kings of Judah ever knew, and they have filled this place with the blood of the innocent. They have built the high places of Baal to burn their sons in the fire as offerings to Baal - something I did not command or mention, nor did it enter my mind. (verses 4-5)

This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel says: "Listen! I am going to bring on this city and the villages around it every disaster I pronounced against them, because they were stiff-necked and would not listen to my words." (verse 15)

I started thinking about this - we don't necessarily worship stone idols anymore and we don't take our children out in the valleys and throw them in the fire. At least not literally. But this nation, this world in many cases - is still doing these things, the gods have just changed their names and the sacrifices have changed faces.

What gods do we serve in this nation right now?

* Tolerance (political - correctness) - God's Word and Will should rule our lives, not the fear of offending someone because we speak the Truth. Truth is often offensive because it brings to light our sins, something we desparately want to keep in the dark. But some day we must account for these. I'd rather repent of them now than have to explain them to my Creater later as I stand before His Throne.

* Convenience - abortion, greed, we only think of ourselves and we want what we want now. If it may hurt others, we justify it in some way. It does not matter what spin we put on sin, Truth is Truth and sin can NOT be justified.

* Self - We may say we are looking out for others, but in the end we only care about one person, us! And deep down we don't even really like that person. We can not show love if we don't know and understand love. God is LOVE. Without Him we are hopeless. The only true and fulfilling way to live is for Him, not for ourselves!

I keep coming back to Jeremiah 2:11-13

"Has a nation ever changed its gods? (Yet they are not gods at all.) But my people have exchanged their Glory for worthless idols. Be appalled at this, O heavens, and shudder with great horror," declares the Lord. My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water."

Please join me in prayer (repentence & intercession) for this nation. Let us turn from our broken cisterns that we have dug and run to the cistern of the Lord, the spring of Living Water!

Pray for our Nation - Jeremiah 18

If you are a Christian who believes with all your heart that the Bible is the inspired Living Word of God, I implore you to join me in praying for this nation. Not just through the elections, although I believe this is a crucial time for our country. This is a turning point.

However, the elections on their own will not be enough to save this country. We need to have our hearts remade. Individually and as a nation. In the beginning of Jeremiah 18, the Lord tells Jeremiah to visit the potter. While there Jeremiah watches the potter reshaping a marred clay pot in his hands, he reshapes it as he sees as being best to him because he is the expert. The clay pot doesn't know what is best - only the potter does. This is us, our nation - we are that marred clay pot. We need to acknowledge this and ask the Potter to reshape us as He knows best because only He is the expert!

Jeremiah 18:7 - 10

If at any time I announce that a nation or or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it.

Obama - separate "religious" beliefs from politics

So - it is probably obvious that I've become very passionate of late regarding our upcoming elections. As I've mentioned before, I've been spending a lot of time on my knees crying out to the Lord for his mercy on our nation. I won't claim to have everything figured out but I do know that EVERYTHING in my life, including politics and my votes, need to be based on the Word of God because His Word is the only real Wisdom and Truth.

This video was recently posted on a blog I visit regularly (which happens to be written by someone I work with) - Mike's Mind Emissions. I had commented on his post, but I just can't get this one out of my mind. So I'm posting here the video for my few readers to see and I've copied my comment below as well.

I'm curious - what is your take on these words of Obama? If you are a Christian - do you agree with Obama? Do you believe that as Christians we should separate our "religious" beliefs from our politics?



My comments on Mike's Blog:

First, I am soooo tired of liberals telling me that I can not base my poltics on my beliefs. They base their poltics on their beliefs. The only difference between my beliefs and theirs is that I trust in a higher power than myself to determine what is right and wrong. Because of this they label my beliefs as "religious" and therefore discount them.

Secondly, for any Christians out there who are thinking they should vote for Obama, if this video does not show that he is NOT a Bible believing Christian, I don't know what does. Nobody who truly believes our Creator is all-knowing and all-powerful, anyone who truly believes the Bible is the inspired Word of God would ever say what he has said here. He basically says God is not reasonable and therefore we can't base our poltics on God.

But I guess that is to be expected. The Bible clearly says God's Ways are not our ways and His Thoughts are not our thoughts. It says the Wisdom of God is foolishness to those who don't believe.

Unfortunately in many ways Obama is right, we are no longer a nation of Christians. As a nation we no longer believe that there are absolutes, that we have a Creator larger than us. As a nation we have chosen to follow our own path and I'm afraid that soon the Lord is going to give this nation over to their desires. I for one am praying for God's mercy.

Someone recently told me that they believe the Lord is going to give America the president they deserve this election. I pray that is not true.

I've really not gotten involved in politics very much in the past and I would never have been considered an intercessor, especially not for our nation. However, this election things have changed.

Thank you Mike for this posting this video.

Obama and Abortion

About a year ago I learned about a group called Bound4Life. They are a grassroots movement to save millions of baby's lives in America. They plan to do this through prayer and what is called Silent Sieges. I made the promise at that time to not vote for any candidate who is not Pro-Life.

I am finding it disturbing and saddening to hear that there are others who call themselves pro-life (and Christian in some cases) who are believing the claims that Obama is not a threat to the ProLife movement, and in some cases believing that he is actually good for the cause.

Others will tell you that abortion is really not that big of an issue in the election as the President does not really affect things like abortion laws. This is very wrong. The president may not interpret the laws but he does sign them or veto them. More importantly he appoints judges who do interpret the laws.

Regardless of where you stand please read this post - Abortion Reduction by The Freedom of Choice Act?

I had many concerns before regarding what will happen to this country if Obama became president, for more reasons than just abortion. This just increases these concerns more.

I pray the Lord will open eyes and hearts between now and November 4th to the Truth about abortion and the truth about what is in store for this country and thousands of innocent lives if we don't open our eyes to the Truth of abortion and take a stand (and more importantly if we don't repent and ask for mercy).

“Jesus, I plead your Blood over my sins and the sins of my nation.
God, end abortion and send revival to America.”

I've explained to my daughter what abortion is (not in graphic details, of course) and recently she watched video from when Saddleback Church interviewed both candidates. One of the questions asked was when a child's rights begin. The video of Obama was approx. 5 minutes long. He never actually answered the question, he did a lot of dancing around it. McCain came right out and said "at conception".

After the videos both played I asked my daughter what she thought (I had not told her anything yet as to where either of them stood on the issue) - even a 7 yr old could watch these videos and easily determine that Obama is not Pro-Life.

If you ask her right now what she thinks of the presidential candidates she will tell you "Obama is for killing babies in their mommy's tummies, McCain is not."

Explaining Prop8 to your kids

In my previous post I had mentioned that I've been talking to my daughter (she's 7 yrs old) about the upcoming elections. I was surprised at how interested she is in what is going on and how eager she is to be part of it and pray for the upcoming elections.

I prayed before I spoke to her because I wanted to explain the issue to her adequately but at a level that she would be able to understand. This is the same way I had approached the issue of abortion with her when she asked me one day why I wore a red Life bracelet.

I simply explained to her that some people believed it was okay for a boy to like a boy and a girl to like a girl the same way that Mommy and Daddy like each other, and that those people have tried to make it legal in our state for a boy to marry a boy or a girl to marry a girl. I explained that we had voted a few years ago and the state had decided that was not right but there were some judges that did not agree and had made it legal. I then explained that the State had a constitution just like the US did and that Prop8 was being voted on to add wording to our constitution that would say that marriage is only recognized between a man and a woman.

When I explained how marriage right now is legal between a girl and a girl or a boy and a boy, I was suprised to see the look on her face. It was a look of confusion. She looked at me and said,

"But Mommy, I don't think God would like that. He made Eve for Adam, he wants weddings to be for a boy and a girl. That is how He made it!"

It warmed my heart that she recognized that the highest authority in all of this is the Lord.

We then went on to talk about how how babies are made (at a very high level) because she asked if two boys or two girls could make a baby. This also got us on the topic of having babies when you are not married.

In the end we talked about how we all sin and even those who sin in these ways are still people that God loves dearly. We compared it to when she does something wrong. Mommy & Daddy don't like what she has done but we still love her. It is the same way with grown ups and God. We all sin and God hates that, but He loves us still. So even though we need to stand up for what is right and what is God's Truth, we still need to love the people who are doing those things. We would want the same thing if it was us doing the wrong thing.

Part of this conversation started because my daughter had noticed the Yes on Prop8 signs that are popping up in the lawns of our neighbors. After our discussion, she told me that we needed to let everyone know about this issue and we needed to get a sign for our yard. And then she said she wanted to make signs and put them up all over the neighborhood and knock on people's doors and let them know about this.

I encourage everyone once again to talk to their children. You may be surprised how much they understand and how excited they are to be included. Especially if this proposition does not pass. Just look at Massachusetts and you'll see where this state will be headed if this Proposition does not pass. No matter what they are saying now, we will end up on the same path. Same-sex marriage being taught in schools at a very young age without the parents being allowed to object. Being told what morals we must teach our children. Read this article if you don't believe that is where we are headed - Proposition 8 - Who's Really Lying?

A good friend of mine just told me a few months ago about a friend of hers who called her in a near panic. Her young daughter (just about my daughter's age) had come home and told her Mom that she was a lesbian. When her mom asked her why she thought that she replied that it was because she liked girls better than boys and some people who had come to talk to them told her it meant she was a lesbian (this was at a diversity day event). Of course a girl at that age likes girls better than boys, at that age boys have cooties! If we don't talk to our children, others will (even if Prop8 passes they will still hear about homosexuality). I for one want my children's morals to be shaped by me in line with God's Word, not by what is considered to be P.C. in this world of ours right now.

Jeremiah - Warning to our Nation?

Therefore, say to them, "This is the nation that has not obeyed the Lord its God or responded to correction. Truth has perished; it has vanished from their lips. Cut off your hair and throw it away; take up a lament on the barren heights for the Lord has rejected and abandoned this generation that is under his wrath."

~Jeremiah 7:28-29

I've been reading the book of Jeremiah recently. I've only gotten through Chapter 10 so far, but as I read it I keep feeling a heavy burden on my heart to pray for our nation. I can't help but feel the Lord impressing upon my heart that this message given to Jeremiah thousands of year ago for Israel, has meaning for us today.

Now I don't for one minute believe that the U.S. has taken the place of Israel as God's chosen nation, nor do I believe that God has abandoned Israel. So if that thought has popped into your head with my above statements, please let it pop right back out immediately.

The Lord has been putting a burden on my heart though more and more as the elections come closer. I've never thought of myself as an intercessor in anyway, nor have I ever really prayed for the nation, our government or its leaders much. But now I find myself pleading with the Lord each and every day to spare us. To open our eyes to the repentence and turning from our sins that is needed in this nation.

As I read Jeremiah, I truely feel it is a message to our nation that we need to drop the arrogant ego that we have worn for so long. To realize that we are not "all that" and that we are not in control. Only God is in control. If we don't repent, fall on our faces in prayer to Him and turn from our sinful ways, this nation will fall. It will become only a memory in the pages of some dusty history book. I know this sounds harsh and maybe a bit doomsday-ish, but I'm sure that is what all the other powerful nations throughout history thought too just before they crumbled.

We have let so much sin continue un-checked in our lives in the name of tolerance and politcal correctness. I don't condone going around judging everyone else or hating others. God has instructed us to love one another. But each of us needs to truely examine our hearts. Ask God to reveal where we have let things into our lives which go against His Word in order to "get along" with others.

As a people we have chosen to believe that we are in control and we have chosen to follow our own paths instead of following the path that the Lord has for us. We are beligerant children, thinking we know what is best, following our own paths which only lead to destruction. Only God knows the True Way and lead us in what is best for us.

There are so many verses in the first 10 chapters of Jeremiah that jump out at me as I read and as I start to intercede for our nation. However, the one above is what I feel the Lord prompting me to share at this moment. I encourage you to read Jeremiah if you are able, ask the Lord to open your eyes to the areas in your life where you've compromised His Truth. But be ready, because if you ask He will show it to you. Take it from me, I can personally tell you it is not pretty.

Please intercede on behalf of this nation, please repent for yourself and this nation and ask the Lord for mercy and grace. I'm calling everyone to prayer, repentance and intercession in these next few weeks. Remember, no matter what happens, the Lord is in control!

What is it all about? Part 2

So I come back to the same question. What is it really all about? First, what is it NOT about?

It is NOT about Religion!

It is NOT about Church!

It is NOT about Christianity!

What it is about is a relationship. A true and full relationship with God our Creator, through His Son, Jesus Christ who died for us and defeated death.

So simple, yet we make it so complicated. Why?

I think it is because we don't truly understand what it is to be in relationship with someone.

Even our closest and best relationship falls horribly short of what our Father desires for us.

Lord~

I pray that you open my heart to what a true relationship with you entails. Sweep away any preconceived notions of what this may or may not look like. Show me how to openly and honestly communicate with you. How to fully know you. Put within me that desire to pursue a full relationship with you regardless the cost. Teach me what being in communion with you really is in all its glory and wonder. I desire to know you fully. Fan that flame into an all-consuming fire.

In the name of your precious Son,

Amen

Chasing

My husband and I are attending a 6 week bible study with a small group called "One Month to Live" that is being sponsored by a local church (yes, I did say my husband and I!)

The basic gist of the study is if you only had one month left to live, what would you regret about your life? What changes would you make in your life? Why don't we make those changes now?

This last week's topic was about Loving Completely and our discussion last night was very good and insightful. Part of the video we watched last night and then discussed included a short film which was made by the authors' son. I found this video to be very powerful. It refers to a parable Jesus told in the Bible which is very touching and powerful on its own.

Please enjoy and let God's unconditional love for you sink in.

Chasing by Ryan Shook

What is it all about?

Religion, Church, Christian

In the past year certain words have begun to make me cringe each time I hear them. I don't necessarily have an issue with the concepts as they are used in God's Word, however I've come to realize in today's culture these words have taken on a very different meaning.

For a long time now I've cringed when someone refers to me as being "religious". From my observations in society this word has come to be a dead and legalistic term. It is all about rules and regulations, guilt and oppression. This is not anything new though. Reading the New Testament it is clear this is how it was 2,000 years ago when Jesus walked among us. The group of people you see Him critcizing the harshest are the religious, rather than those traditionally thought of as sinners.

Then there is the word church. Jesus referred to the church as a body of Believers, His Bride. However, in our world the word church tends to bring up images of a building where people go once a week to socialize and be "religious". I know this is not the case in all churches, but to those who are not Christian, I can tell you that is how it often appears. And unfortunately, the impression is the same among some Christians themselves.

That brings me to the third word. When someone asks me what religion I am, I cringe to say Christian. As humans we are imperfect, prone to pride, arrogance and selfishness. We have taken the word Christian which should bring to mind someone who follows Christ and we've turned it into something cheap. We have drug it through the mud. Christianity over the years has done many good things for this world, but it has also done some of the most horrific things as well. When the world hears "Christian", do they envision a follower of Christ? Instead many times they see selfish, arrogant people pushing their agenda by hiding behind the "church" and "religion".

I don't mean for this to be a downer. I bring it up because I have begun recently to question what I believe and what I've always been taught. I don't doubt God or His Word, however I do question how we as imperfect people see these things. I question not only what I believe, but why I believe it.

As I question more and more and ask Him for wisdom and discernment, the one thing that comes more to life for me is what this is really all about. Not from our perspective, but from God's. What is the Church? What is Christianity really all about?

The answer He has revealed to me is one word - relationship. I've heard this before, but it is really coming to life for me now. This is what it all comes down to in the end. It is all about getting to know our Heavenly Fahter through His Son, our Savior. It is not about rules and regulations, it is not about church or programs. We can do all of that but if we don't pursue Him personally, daily we will never understand it. My biggest concern now is to get to know the Lord. I don't want to put Him in a box, but I also don't want to fall for whatever comes my way.

The Bible refers to our walk as being the narrow road. What I've found is this narrow road has two ditches on either side which we can fall into if we are not careful. And I've found myself in both ditches at different times during my walk. One on side is legalism, where we loose focus on the goal, our relationship with Christ and focus on all the rules for being righteous. What is right or wrong. The other side is liberalism where we decide all is good, God is in it all. On one side we focus solely on God's Holiness and Righteousness. On the other hand we focus solely on His Love and Grace. God is both Righteous and Merciful, however it is hard for use to reconcile these two sides into one mighty God.

A true relationship with God means keeping an open mind towards Him and any correction He may give us. Not an open mind accepting of everything the world throws at us. Instead an open mind that is willing to admit we may be (and probably are) wrong about Him. A heart that earnestly prays for wisdom and discernment from the Lord even if that means blowing up the boxes we have created and tried to put Him in.

I can only do this by pursuing a true relationship with Him. That is His desire for me. If I focus on that, the rest will come. As I get to know Him better He will fill me with His Light. His Light is the only thing that can drive away the darkness that is in me because in the end that darkness is the absence fo Light, the absence of Him!

Instead of trying to do what is "right" and becoming righteous in my power and then beating myeslf up when I fail (which will always be the case when we try to do things this way!), I am going to pursue a deeper relationship with Him. When I do that, I will begin to walk with Him and He will empower me to change. The focus needs to be on the relationship, that is all that matters in the end.

Got Hope? Obama

Did I get your attention? I saw this on a bumper sticker a couple days ago and it got me to thinking and asking myself some very candid questions. I am not voting for Obama this November and I don't believe that he is our hope. However, I really don't put my hope in any of the candidates (although there are definitely some I prefer over others!)

I started to ask myself some very hard questions and really started to search my heart. What is the true answer to these questions? Is it where I want/should be?

Who do I really put my hope in? God's Word tells us that our hope should be in Christ Jesus. We can't put our hope in anyone else. Not only does it go against God's Word, but it is actually unfair to the person because nobody can live up to that expectation.

As Christians we hear all the time about how our hope is to be in God, in our savior. But do I really live as if He is my Hope? Does my life truly reflect this, at all times?

When things are bad, where do I look first? Do I look to myself? Others? or do I automatically go to the Lord? When things are good, where do I give the praise? Do I pat myself on the back, or do I praise the Lord who has given me everything that I have? The one that knows what is best for me?

This is something that is not natural for us as sinful humans. We tend to think we know what is best for us and we want to do things our own way. We tend to want to take credit for the good things in our life and to solve our own problems. It makes us feel like we have some control in a world that is so very out of control.

As far as the upcoming elections and the rest of my life, I am putting my hope in the Creator of the Universe who knows the future. My hope is in Him because I know even if the person I vote for does not end up in the White House, the Lord is still in control. He is always in control, even when it may not seem so to me. I can only see a very small part of the big picture. I have to trust that He loves me and will take care of me.

This is something I'm learning does not just happen one day and stays with you. It is a choice I'm having to make everyday. The more time I spend with Him the easier it is for me to trust Him and make that choice each day.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
~Psalm 42:11

I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints.
~Psalm 52:9

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
~Psalm 62:5

the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.
~Psalm 147:11

Conversations in your Head

Sometimes I wonder if I'm weird. Now I know we are all weird in our own ways, but sometimes I think I might be more so than others. But I do think it is a family thing, because I truly believe I'm one of the least weird in my family. Growing up I had tons of family around me. Seriously, I grew up in the house next door to the house my dad grew up in. And on the other side of that house was where my great grandparents lived! And that is just the beginning of it! It was like Everybody Loves Raymond blown up about 10 times at a hick level (I was a country girl, no doubt about that!)

Anyway, I digress from my point. I have conversations in my head. Not just the ones were you replay a conversation you had in your head and in this version you come up with all the witty comebacks that you missed when the conversation really happened. And not just the conversations you may have in your head in anticipation of an upcoming conversation. Or even the conversations you have in your head that are ones you want to have with someone, but will probably never have the guts to initiate. I do have all of these at times, but that is not the predominate conversations going on in my head.

The conversations that play over and over in my head are ones between two different people, I'm not part of them. In fact, I'm not even in the vicinity of these conversations. It is like I've become a fly on the wall or these were secretly taped and I'm now watching them. The people having the conversations are always different, but the subject is always the same. . . (Warning: here comes the part were I am very transparent and show an ugly side of me!)

. . .the topic is always ME. I've not really shared this with anyone before, it is kind of embarrasing and makes me realize how vain and insecure I can be at times. It is something I'm trying to change in my life, but have once again realized only God can give me the strength. I realize this all comes about b/c of insecurities that I have.

Here is how the scenario plays out:

I'm in a situation somewhere with others. I say or do something and later when I'm alone I start thinking "Angela, that was stupid! Why in the world did you say/do that!" I start second guessing myself and this fear of what others thinks of me bubbles up and often overflows. I'm left an insecure mess and that is when the conversations start. In my head I hear two individuals (or more) start talking about me and one of them always comes to my rescue and starts sticking up for me.

But you know what? I've realized this is an issue for two reasons.

1. I fear man more than I fear the Lord. I need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks of me, what I do or what I say. All that really matters is if I'm following the Lord. If I am working on my relationship with Him then I'll start walking with Him. That is what matters. It will offend some people when I start to do this, but I have to ask myself - who matters the most? God does!

2. I'm looking for others to fight my battles, to stand up for me, to defend me. This is wrong. I can't put that pressure on anyone else. It is not fair to them. And it is not their job. In fact, many times we should NOT defend ourselves. Jesus is an example of this. People spoke out about him falsely so many times and he did not worry about defending himself. Why? Because he knew he was walking with the Father and that any defending that may need to be done would be done by the Father. Done by the Father in His timing! I need that same attitude.

So - now I'm trying to change these things in my life. But not by my power, because I can only do this with God's help. I'm weak and I admit that. By God's grace and power these conversations are going to become real conversations between myself and my Saviour instead of fake conversations between two other people who are most likely not even thinking of me!

Why am I sharing all of this? Well, I'm not sure. Recently the Lord told me through a good friend that the way for me to work through some things I was dealing with was to write. So that is what I'm doing. I'm writing. If nobody reads these, then so be it. I'm obeying the Lord. If someone does read this and it helps them in some way, then Praise God!

Personhood Amendment

Today I received an email regarding a post from Eternal Perspectives, a blog by Randy Alcorn, an author for whom I have a high regard. The post was called Sarah Palin, Experience, and Video from Colorado for Equal Rights.

The post itself is very good and I agree with his points of view. If you have some time to check out the post, please do so.

What really touched me though was the video at the end regarding the Colorado Personhood Amendment that is being put on the ballet. This would change the state constitution to reflect that a baby from fertilization is a person and should therefore enjoy equal rights with the rest of us and deserving of protection.



Colorado for Equal Rights Personhood Amendment from Personhood USA on Vimeo.

I found this so encouraging and I just had to praise the Lord for this 19 year old who has chosen to make a stand for Life. I support her 100% and am praying this will pass in 2008. And from there I pray this will catch like wildfire and spread across our nation. This gives a clearer view of what the ProLife/ProChoice argument is really about. It is NOT about a choice, it is about a LIFE!!!!!

Visit the Personhood 08 - Equal Rights for Colorado website for more information.

Soul - C.S. Lewis

I am going through a study with some friends of mine right now (and my husband!) called One Month to Live. The study is a 30 day study which includes a book with a short reading for each day. Today's reading was called Power Surge and talks about how we need to stay connected with God because He is our source of power. We can't do things in our own power as it leads to burnout. The only way we can succeed is to rely on God's power/strength.

At the beginning of this chapter there is a quote which really spoke to me.

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.

~ C.S. Lewis

I found this to be very profound. Something I've never really thought about before, but which makes sense. I think we often do not realize this. We are focused on our life here on earth only, because that is the part of ourselves that we can see and visibly work on improving. However we are not a body that happens to contain a soul. We are a Soul which has a body. We need to concentrate on improving our soul as well as our body. The only way we can do this successfully is to concentrate on our relationship with the Lord.

I know from first hand experience though how hard this is to put into practice. I too often loose sight of where my strength and power truly come from. I rely on myself; my skills, my knowledge and my strength instead of running to the Lord and relying on Him. This year the Lord has been teaching me this lesson.

Beauty from Pain

Recently God has made it clear to me in different ways that I need to start writing again. I think my blog is the way to do this, at least for now. The difference though is I need to be more transparent. I need to write what I'm feeling, what God is teaching me without censoring it because I'm worried what others might think or because I worry about who may be reading this.

My attempt going forward on this blog will be to give you the real me - the good, the bad and the ugly. The struggles and the truimphs. Whatever God has for me, I will write about here. I will stop fearing man, and fear my Lord.

With that being said, I've also started journaling again. Awhile back I was in a pretty low place emotionally and spiritually. I finally gave up something I've been struggling and hoping for to the Lord. I mean I really gave it up this time. I prayed for His will to be done - not mine. I prayed that whatever that meant that He would give me the strength to get through it. I prayed for Him to show me who I really am, in all my ugliness. I prayed He would show me clearly the areas I needed to make changes, the things I was doing wrong that had caused me to be where I was. And to reveal to me the things that I needed to take a firm stand on, regardless of what those around me thought.

I had written the words to a Superchick song called Beauty from Pain in my journal during this time and some verses and words which I want to share now. I remember many days on the way to and from work slipping in this CD and turning it up. Playing this song over and over and singing it out with all that I had in me, tears streaming down my face as I drove.

This version I found online is set to some cartoons. I kind of like it, but the video itself is not the point. If you are hurting right now I encourage you to just close your eyes and listen to this song. The words are powerful on their own, but the music along with the words just touches your soul. It is a cry from your heart to the Lord, your Creator - your Redeemer.







At the same time I was going through this a friend gave me these words to a song

"On the solid rock of Jesus I stand - All other ground is just sinking sand"

I went home and wrote them down because they were so powerful to me. A reminder. Then the Lord gave me these two verses -

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord.

~ Psalm 45:11

I waited patiently for the Lord;

he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

and put their trust in the Lord.

~ Psalm 40:1-3

Hope of the Early Church

I'm still reading The Untold Story of the New Testament Church by Frank Viola. In the chapter about the church started in Galatia, quite a few interesting facts are shared regarding the early Church which really got me to thinking:

• Over 50% of the new Believers are slaves, many being freedmen (former slaves). A few of the Believers are part of the Roman army and a few may have been merchants.
• These new Believers do not have any Bibles, the New Testament had not yet been written. There may have been a few Jews among them with one or two scrolls from the Old Testament.
• Only 5-10% of the population in the Roman Empire was literate so even if they had Bible, many would not be able to read them.
• Many of the Freedmen are barely able to survive due to their poverty. They would seek work in the marketplace each day to earn one Roman denarius (a day's wage). This would buy just enough food to feed their families. Their diet usually consisted of veggies, bread, wine, olives, fish and fruit. Meat was not eaten very often.
• The cities of the Roman colonies were usually dirty, smelly and unsafe. The life expectancy of a male is 45, for females it is 38.
• Birth control was not normally practiced. Women would marry in their teens and raise families until they passed their child bearing years.
• 25% of babies did not survive their first year and 30% of Jewish children died before they turned 18. The percentage for Gentiles was higher. Baby girls were often "exposed" (abandoned to die in remote places) if their parents were poor.
• Paul & Barnabas spent only 3-5 months with the people of each church, teaching them the Good News. They would then leave them for up to 2 years before returning.

Reading these things made me realize that regardless of the issues I may be facing right now, it is nothing compared to what these individuals lived with on a daily basis.

But what really amazed me is contrasting these new Believers and their faith to that of new Believers in the church today (including myself!). We are constantly trying to come up with new programs and new things to help Believers better understand what it means to walk with the Lord and have their lives transformed. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against these things and many of them have helped me in the past and still do.

However, these Believers in most cases had never heard of Jesus before and here they are after only 5 months of instruction, living as a Church (eating together, fellowshipping etc) with not only none of the programs we have nowadays, but also no Bible as guidance. From what I've studied so far, they often had the whole "Church" thing down better than any churches in the present. They truly lived for one another and supported one another. Can you imagine how powerful that message must have been to take such deep root in their hearts?

Part of it may have been the fact that their lives in many cases seemed so hopeless and this brought them a Hope they had never experienced. I wonder if we are too comfortable in our own lives, to caught up in ourselves and in our mistaken belief that we are in control of our lives, to really let the Good News of Jesus to take hold of our hearts and imaginations.

I have to wonder, what has changed so much since then. Is it us and how we accept the Good News or has the Good News changed? Or is it a little of both? I know God's Good News never changes, but have we somehow watered it down so we are missing something that the early Church embraced so thoroughly?

Description of Church

I'm reading a book right now called The Untold Story of the New Testament Church by Frank Viola. The point of the book is to help Christians better understand the New Testament. You see, the letter written by Paul have been arranged in the NT in order of their length.

This book puts them in the order in which they were written and gives you some background into what was going on with the church at that time and the reasoning for each of the letters Paul wrote. It really is eye opening to understand the "back story" if you will of each of Paul's letters. There was a purpose for each of these letters being written, a particular issue that Paul is addressing that was occuring in that particular church at that particular time. (The book does deal with the entire NT, not just the letters written by Paul, but these are the ones which for the most part have been arranged by length).

Right now I'm going through a chapter called The Jerusalem Chronicles which is dealing with the book of Acts. There is one quote regarding the beginning of the church that really caught my eye.

It is 30 AD and the Jerusalem church has just been born. Pentecost has come and the Believers have been baptised with the Holy Spirit in the upper room where they were meeting. This "church" following Jesus has now gone from 12 disciples to 120 in the upper room to 3,000 believers.

"The first instinct of these new Christians is to meet and to meet constantly. The Galilean experience of informal gatherings with Christ as the center is now brought to Jerusalem by the Twelve."

That made me think. When Jesus walked the earth he would sit with his disciples and teach them while they shared a meal. He was the center of it all. Now that he had ascended to Heaven and the Holy Spirit had been sent to the Believers, they followed this same pattern. They met often to teach one another, to fellowship and to eat (often was more than just once a week!). In all of this Jesus was the center of these meetings, not programs or anything else. As they did this they came to love one another and naturally the began to care of one another's needs and the needs of the community.

I think today we loose sight of this so often. I'm doing a study right now on Ephesians at work about Walking the Talk you Talk. One of the recent questions was "If a person is going to walk in a manner worthy of his calling as a Christian - or to put it another way, if a person claims to be a Christian and wants to walk his talk - what would he need to do, according to what you've seen in today's study?" (study that day was on Ephesians 4:14-16)

My answer was the first priority we have is to nuture our walk with the Lord as this is the only way we will truly know the Truth and be able to walk with one another in unity. If we continue to nuture our relationship with the Lord (prayer, Bible study, worship, fasting, etc) then the rest, the fruit of love will come naturally. We try too often to produce the "fruit" on our own. It should be there, definitely, but only God can produce it in us, we can not do it ourselves.

I think sometimes this overflows not only into our personal lives but also into church. As a church sometimes we start to focus on doing for others, the fruit. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does lead to burnout if our focus is on this and we are trying to do it of our own power. As a church (a body of believers) we need to first focus on Jesus, the head of our church. The rest will come.

Our True Home

I spent two nights this past week in a hotel room on a business trip. At first it was kind of nice. Very quiet (as opposed to three young children at my house!) and I could get some reading done in peace, no interruptions. It was a decent room, not fancy, but not bad either.

But after awhile it began to seem a bit dingy and lonely. It was just not home.

I used to travel quite a bit for work before we had children. Back then I did not appreciate the quiet as I do now. I remember though the perks of eating out and having someone clean the room every day. However, I also remember that the novelty wore off fast. I would come home after being on the road and all I would want is a nice home cooked meal and my own bed to sleep in. I missed my own bed, snoring hubby and all!

I recently read something that compared our life on this earth to a hotel room. Jesus told us that we are not of this world (we are just visitors). Our true home is in Heaven with Him. The more I think about it, the more fitting this analogy seems to be.

Living on earth, this life, is nice at times. We experience our share of happiness and good times. However, it is like living in a hotel room. Nothing is actually ours, when we leave we will leave all the stuff behind in the room. Though it is quiet and restful at times, overall it is dingy and lonely. We long for our true home.

Some of us may live in a really nice hotel room right now, but even that gets old after awhile. It is never the same as being at home. Our heart, our soul inevitably becomes homesick. We long for the trip to end so we can sleep in our own bed. We long to go to our true home, Heaven, where we will find our true treasures waiting for us. Our true home where we are greeted by our loving family with open arms.

While we can make phone calls home during our trip it is just not the same as talking to our loved ones face to face and feeling their warm embrace. Although we can lift our prayers to Heaven and commune with Jesus, it is just not the same as meeting him one day face to face, feeling His embrace and having Him lead us to that true home which He has built for us.

Is this how you see your life on earth, as a temporary stop that is just a foretaste of what is yet to come? Is this how you see Heaven? As the one true place where you belong?

I know too often I forget about this. I forget that instead of focusing on this life, I should focus on Jesus and look forward to the wonderful life that is ahead of me. I need to remember that my true home, my true treasures, my true love is not found here on this earth, in this life. We need to live for this day and give our best to the Lord, however we should also be looking forward to our true home in anticipation.

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

~John 15:19

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.

~John 14:2

Eternity

Just a little something from my journal:

God put eternity in our hearts. Our souls thirst for Him. We were created for Him and therefore our lives are empty without Him. WE are empty without Him!

Chosen

I am a huge Ted Dekker fan. I've read the Circle Triology (Black, Red & White) and find him to be a very talented writer. But more importantly he is able to weave in some very important and profound truths about our Lord into his stories. He focuses quite a bit on the battle that rages in us between sin and our new lives in Christ. He focuses on what the books call the Great Romance between humans and Elyon (follows along with what the Lord has been revealing to me about the Song of Solomon).

He has also written a young adult fiction series called The Lost Books that ties into the Circle Triology. I just finished the last book Chaos. At the end there is a part in the book that really hit home with me that I wanted to share.

Silvie suddenly felt the weight of the idea and began to cry with them. Because she too, was the Dark One, wasn't she? They all were, as much as they were all Forest Dwellers, without Elyon's cleansing water.

Yet they were chosen. It was up to them to follow either the one who had made them dark, or the one who had chosen each of them.

(Ted Dekker, Chaos)

We all have sin, darkness, within us. However the Lord has chosen us, chosen us before the beginning of the world to be His. He has chosen us to be loved by Him. We know have the choice of which to follow. The darkness that is inherent in each of us, or to follow the One who chose us before the beginning of time?

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One He loves.

~ Ephesians 1:4-6