I learned today that in some ways I'm not even close to fearing God the way I should. Instead I fear man. I fear what those around me think of me and I fear truely sharing who God is to me with others. Today I was put in a situation where I risked looking foolish to those around me in order to obey my Lord. I've known about needing to do this for two days now, but a part of me was trying to figure out a way to avoid the situation. I was trying to justify a way to get out of it, so I would not look foolish to others and so I could feel like I was doing God's will at the same time
Just before the time to do what I needed to do, God revealed to me my mindset. At that moment it was so obvious to me what I had been doing, but before that point I honestly had no idea!
I started praying for the Lord to help me to fear Him and to obey Him, instead of being so worried about what others may say about me or think of me. I sit here and say I love God, that I will obey Him, even die for my beliefs if necessary, but I was afraid of someone looking at me strangely today. The logic is so twisted.
I can't say that when I prayed my mindset totally shifted and I did what God required of me without a second thought. I still had that little voice in my head saying "Those people are going to think you are weird! Your boss is not going to respect you any longer. She'll think you're a quack!" However, God gave me peace and gave me the strength to push past that and do as He wanted me to do. In the end the feeling of obeying God felt wonderful. It was like I could see Him up there smiling at me saying "There you go Angela. One step closer to who I want you to become!"
Recently I heard someone say that everyone says they are willing to sacrifice for the Lord, but they are thinking of sacrificing money, time or their lives. Not that those things are bad, they are not. However, many times (especially in our society) what God is asking us to do is to be different, to do something new. That means standing for Him. I'm not talking about a "I'm in your face" kind of stand. What I mean is standing for Him in such as way that others will see you as foolish. Standing for Him in a way that humbles you, because you have totally set aside your pride and are concerning yourself with what He wants, not how others will see you. Does that make sense?
1 Corinthian 1:18 - 20
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written:
"I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate. Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?
1 Corinthians 3:18-19
Stop deceiving yourselves. If you think you are wise by this world’s standards, you need to become a fool to be truly wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God.