As I read about David and his relationship with God, I realize the key to having a heart after God's is to understand God's Heart. The more I understand how passionately He loves me, even in the midst of all the "junk" in my life - the more I will begin to love Him. The more I will desire to spend time in His presence and to follow Him.
For too long I've allowed my perfectionist tendencies to drive me to try to be righteous and holy. The problem with this is I am focuing on myself instead of Christ. I've focused on being a "good" christian for so long and when I've stumbled I've focused on how much of a failure I was because of it. I've heard for so long how I need to focus on Jesus and not myself, that God loves me no matter what. But it was not until this last week that this finally clicked for me! I've been preaching this concept to others but without realizing it I was not living it myself. I was still focusing on my failures and running from God when I failed instead of running to Him. I was still focused on my efforts to be "good" for God, trying to earn His love. A love that is greater than I can even begin to imagine and which is already wholly mine - no strings attached!
Now, instead of expending so much energy on being a "good" christian I want to spend my efforts gazing upon God, understanding His emotions and His love. The rest will happen naturally as I fall more and more in love with this amazing, awesome God who loves me.
Remember your first love? The giddy feelings? How you wanted to know as much as possible about the person and could not stop thinking about them. How your heart would flutter everytime you saw them. Remember how when they expressed their love for you, it would increase your love towards them? Our relationship with God is to be like this, but soo much more. And more permanent. It is not a fleeting feeling that fades after a few months when we get to know each other. There is always more to learn about God and His love for us. There is always something new to inspire us.
That is how I've been feeling lately. I've been giddy with excitement for no apparent reason. I'm excited to spend time in His Word, praying, worshiping and just sitting in His Presence. I crave it and run after it. I want more!
Do you feel that way about your Lord and Savior? If not, ask Him to begin to reveal His heart to you. Ask Him to show you His beauty and to give you understanding of how great is His love for you. How passionately He pursues and woos you. Ask Him to give you more understanding of Psalm 27, to truly place this desire deep within your heart.
One thing I ask of the Lord; this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.
One book I'm reading right now that I recommend to anyone who wants to take this journey is "After His Own Heart" by Mike Bickle. I leave you now with a quote from this book:
"The heart of God is a wonderland, a universe of beauty like no place mankind could dream up. All beauty on earth is merely a reflection of Him..."