Sunday, August 06, 2006

What Else I Might Have Been?

A special post for Sunday Scribblings

While thinking about this week’s prompt, I started thinking back to some of the major events and decisions in my life. One of the biggest was walking away and turning my back on the one who has done the most for me in my life. The one who loves me more than anyone else ever could. In high school I decided I knew what was best for my life and turned my back on the Lord. I walked away from my faith and decided to make it on my own.

Obviously, I finally found my way back. It took me awhile, but he never actually left my side. Looking back now I can see multiple times he called to me and I’m amazed at the love and patience he has with all of us.

But I digress; this prompt is about how my life would have been different if I had not made that change back then. The reality of the situation is I have no idea. I can make guesses, but most are probably not even close to what reality for me would have been.

My profession in life may have been very different since I would have consulted with him in prayer regarding my path in college. My extra-curricular activities would have been different as well.

But most of all, my life would probably have been much different because I more than likely would not have married my husband. My husband is not what you would call a Believer. The Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked and there is a very good reason as to why the Lord tells us this. Marriage is difficult enough at times without the hardship of not being able to share the most important belief in your life with your spouse.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband very much and do not for a second regret marrying him. He is a wonderful husband and an even more wonderful father to our three beautiful children. However, if I am very honest with myself, I know I would not have started dating him and eventually married him if I had been walking with the Lord.

However, if I ever start to question God’s love and patience for me, all I have to do is look at my wonderful family. Even though I turned my back on the Lord for years and married someone who does not believe in him or trust in him the way I do, he still choose to bless me with a loving husband and a beautiful family. Although it saddens me greatly to have turned from him for all those years (and I strongly encourage everyone else to not ever do so) I can say with 100% sincerity, that I do not regret for a moment having married my husband and started a family with him.

Coming up this Saturday, we'll have been married 11 years. I wish I could say it has been "happily ever after" the whole time, but anyone who is married would know I was lying. It has been rough at times, but love and marriage is about being committed to one another through thick and thin. My faith in the Lord has enabled me to do this with Shaun. That and the fact that when he made us, the Lord gave us both an extra little dash of stubborness. That can be bad in a marriage, but it can also be good when we are both determined to live by the "til death do we part!"

It really is true that the Lord can make all things new and can turn bad things in your life into blessings. We just have to trust him.


paris parfait said...

It sounds like you're happy with the choices you made and the life you have now. Nice post.

samantha said...

I know it must be very hard - I've had friends who've gone through this, and my parents are definitely on different spiritual pages. The wonderful thing about God is that he never leaves us, never forsakes us, and is with us on every step of our journey. I take a lot of comfort in that!

Amber said...

I also married an un-believer, and we have been married about 11 and a half years now. And I sometimes think the same thing. But I did pray about it. HARD. I really felt led to marry this man. It was actually more God's will, than my own, I felt at the time. I felt deeply that this was what God had planned for me.

Over the years my husband has been drawing closer to God. He is a believer now, if not as passionate as I wish he was. But I think God is teaching me something about trusting His timing, you know. Faith is such a personal issue. God if working in my hubs life, on His own terms.