Thursday, October 04, 2007

Spiritually Unequal Marriage

Some of you may not already know, but I am in an unequally yoked marriage. My husband and I have been married for 12 years, we were high school sweethearts. We've had our ups and downs, just as any marriage does. We are learning that love and marriage is not just about a "feeling". It is a day to day decision we both make.

My walk with the Lord has become much more intimate in the past months and I believe the enemy is very unhappy with that. So he attacks where he knows it will hurt the most, through my marriage. We've had some pretty rocky times in the past 2 years. Sometimes it is not something we are necessarily going through together. It is something I'm going through and dealing with because of things God has been showing me. My husband in some cases has no idea of the feelings of hopelessness I may be feeling. At other times he may realize I'm upset, but has no idea as to why. Since our views on God and His role in our lives are not the same, I'm not able to even begin to explain to him how I feel or why.

One thing I'm learning is that many times my expectations of my husband are not realistic. Especially considering he does not know the Lord. I struggle in my walk with the Lord and being the person I should be. If I do that while in an intimate relationship with my Lord, how much harder must it be for my beloved when he does not know Jesus?

I've been praying lately for the Lord to show me my husband through His eyes. To enable me to love him the way God does. When we go through things, the Lord is slowly showing me how to react to the situation in a way that shows my husband the love of Christ. Instead of reacting the way I want to (lashing back at him), God is showing me how to love my husband through ALL things. I just have to remember to turn to Him in those times. I still mess up alot, but I'm finding it is getting to be easier for me to go to God instead of being disappointed in my husband for expectations he cannot fulfill.

". . .and if you call out for insight and cry alound for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."
~Proverbs 2:3-5

The Bible says if we seek out the Lord and his wisdom, He will give it to us. That is what I've been doing lately.

Yesterday I "stumbled" onto a site called Spiritually Unequal Marriage. I believe the Lord led me to this blog for encouragement in my walk with Him, in my marriage and most of all in those times when things seem so dark and hopeless. This blog is definitely being used by the Lord to touch others. Even if you are not in an unequally yoked marriage, you can find inspiriation from this site and I encourage you to visit it.


Angela said...

What makes your marriage unequally yoked? In other words, is it because your husband doesn't believe in God? Or is it because he is of another denomination? I guess I'd like to know why the two of you are not on the same page if you don't think that's too personal. Maybe that's all for another post, ya know?

Ang said...

I was going to comment on this but instead, I'm going to answer this in a post. Please refer to my Unequally Yoked post

awannabe said...

Thank you for posting this... Only tree months after I got married I was in a Christian bookstore looking for a book called "Unequally Yoked." In my mind it had to exist, and it would probably be written by someone like James Dobson. But the book didn't exist.

I was a newly wed especting my first child. My husband was heavily into marijuana and stealing at the time. I was going crazy. Its a long story. I felt really alone.

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