I attended a Children's Equipping Conference this weekend. During this time the Lord spoke very clearly regarding a few different issues in my life, one of which I want to share tonight.
The conference focus was on the 6-12 year old children. My daughter is six and so I was very excited about this conference. I desparately want to see my children know the Lord, but I don't want it to be forced on them and I want it to be real. However, I went into this weekend with expectations as to how my daughter would react and interact with others. If you had asked me prior to the first night, I would have denied it, but looking back I now realize I did have them.
At one point I was actually getting angry and frustrated because instead of going up with the other children during worship, she was sitting in her seat and actually fell asleep at one point. Then all of a sudden it hit me, God spoke to me. Not in an audible voice, but it was Him nevertheless.
"Let it go, my daughter. She is in my hands and I'm drawing her to me. The seeds are being planted even if you can not see it."
This was Friday night. On Saturday the speakers addressed specifically the issue of parents letting go. But that is not all God said to me. I have a bit of a control issue that the Lord is revealing to me. I've known it for awhile now, but He is showing me how deep it runs. So in my normal fashion, I figured I knew better than Him and started to argue.
"But God, she's not even trying. She's falling asleep! How can seeds be planted when she is not even awake?"
That's when He really struck deep.
"How will she know how to seek me, if she does not see it modeled for her? Let it go and just seek me yourself. That is all I require of you. I will do the rest. Let it go."
That brought me to my knees. My responsibility as a parent is to show my children who God is in MY life. They watch us and learn more from what we do than from what we say.