Friday, October 05, 2007

Unequally Yoked

Angela asked what makes my marriage unequally yoked and I figured I would just do a post instead of a comment. I figure someone else may have this same question and is just not as direct as Angela (that's why I love her!)

No, I don’t mind sharing. It is not a big secret or anything, I’ve just not really shared about it on here before.

Shaun does believe in God (although when we were first married, I don’t know that he would have admitted to it). He says that the Big Bang Theory and evolution don’t logically make sense when you think about it. However, he believes we were created by “something” (probably God) who then walked away and has left us on our own. He believes you have to make your own way in the world and spending time in prayer and study of the Bible is a waste of time.

When we were first talking about having kids (about 5 years into our marriage) he was very adamant that he wanted them making up their own mind about religion and did not want the going to church with me (I had just come back to the Lord at that point and attending church). However, once we had children he started to change his mind. Then when our daughter was old enough to start school he decided that he did not want her in public school. He does not agree with some things the public schools (especially in CA) teach. It is kind of funny that we have many of the same values, although for different reasons. In the end, after talking to our daycare provider (who is a Christian) he made the suggestion that we put her in a private Christian School. We both really love the school, although he does not agree with some of the things they teach about God. But he is willing to overlook these things because he knows they are teaching her the same values we are at home and he knows the things about God she is learning, I am teaching her anyway. He figures it does not harm her and so as long as we don't push it on him, he is fine.

Sometimes I get frustrated because as my walk gets more initimate with the Lord and He becomes more and more a part of my everyday life, I feel I cannot share some of these important things with my husband. But when I look over the 12 years we've been together I can see that the Lord is working on him. I just keep praying for him and trying to show him the love of Christ through my life (which I must say I fail at miserably at times!)

In the end, I love my husband dearly and know the Lord has put him in my life for a reason. God has used my husband to teach me alot over the past few years and I know there is still more to come. I'll keep praying over him and asking the Lord to open his heart and I'll keep doing my best (through Christ's power) to love him the way the Lord wants me to love him.


Angela said...

I knew that would turn into a post of it's own. I used to be married to a guy that didn't believe in God at all. We were only married for four years give or take. I married him when I was 20 years old. (HUGE mistake)

Anyway, all you can do is just keep doing what you're doing and even though you can't really share everything with your husband at least he will see what's going on and wonder why you are how you are.

Christians aren't perfect. We never have been and we never will be. That's the great part about Grace.

As for the kiddos there will come a time when they might want to check out church. Sunday school really isn't all that bad for kids. If anything they are learning to treat people the way that they would want to be treated.

I think it will all work out. What church do you go to and what Bible are you reading? (Ok, so maybe that's another post too! lol)

Ang said...

Hey Angela,

The kids actually do go to church with me now. Or at least my 6 year old daughter. The boys (3 yrs and 17 months) are off and on, partly b/c it is hard to manage all three on my own. However, I'm teaching them at home about God and will start taking them regularly more often as they get older. (I'm starting with the three year old now).

That is one of the ways I see God working in my husband's life. He does not have a problem with the kids going any longer.

As far as where I go to church. That is a whole other post. I'll do that one either tonight or this weekend.