Saturday, December 02, 2006

The Inner Ugliness of a Christian Revealed

They say confession is good for the soul, but more importantly the Lord tells us to confess our sins to one another.

I for one have been hiding a very ugly side of me from my Christian brothers and sisters which I confessed to them tonight at our monthly Celebration. The reason I confessed is so they could pray for me. You see, the reason we are to confess to one another is so we can be prayed for and healed.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16)

I’ve been trying to deal with this ‘ugliness’ by myself in one of two ways. One moment I’m trying to change it in my own power and the next I’m trying to justify it. Neither is the proper response of a Christian.

I know many of you who are not Christians (and even some who are) very well may be disillusioned about Christians and Christianity and the reason for this is twofold. One is because of Christians like me who try to hide or justify their ‘ugliness’. No matter how much we try to do this, it is revealed and you see us as hypocrites. The other reason is a misunderstanding of what it means to be a Christian.

What is this misunderstanding? It is that Christians are different from non-Christians. Unfortunately many Christians act as if they are better than someone who is not a Christian. I can sincerely say this is not true, and if any Christian believes otherwise they are lying to themselves.

You see the difference between a Christian and a non-Christian has absolutely nothing to do with the person themselves. The only difference is who they know, they have a personal relationship with Christ.

In my case, myself and others have been wronged by a certain person. So what’s the problem you may ask? The problem is my reaction is the same as someone who does not know Christ. My reaction is retaliation and then I justify it. This is not how Jesus lived His life or how he calls us to live it.

I’ve recognized the resulting gossip, anger/hatred in my life and tried to solve it myself with pure willpower. However, I’ve failed every time because I’m just as human as everyone else. I did this for a few different reasons but it all boils down to pride. Pride that I can handle it myself and pride that makes me not want to admit to my brothers and sisters in Christ that I’m not perfect. (As if they don’t already know!)

Tonight I confessed and asked for prayer because the bottom line is I need to be healed in this situation and only God can do that for me. Most people would probably not condemn me for my actions if they knew the entire situation, however God would and that is who matters. If I’m going to call myself a child of God, I need to follow in His footsteps. Although my recent reaction(s) to the situation may be justified in the world’s view it will NOT solve the problem and definitely does not show the world or this person God’s love.

You may ask why I’m writing this since I already confessed to my church family and received their prayer. I can’t exactly tell you why, except to say that I feel the Lord is telling me to do this and I pray this may change someone’s thoughts towards a Christian who they see acting as a hypocrite. I’m by no means making excuses for us, but please remember we are no different than anyone else when you really get down to it.

Stacie Oricco sings a song called “Don’t look at me” which says what I’m trying to say much better than me. Here are the lyrics (courtesy of


Don't look at me if you're looking for perfection
Don't look at me I will only let you down
I'll do my best to point you in the right directon
But don't look at me
No, no, no
Don't look at me, look at Him

Sometimes I have a fear
That you will see a mirror
And get the thought that it's the main attraction
But all that you detect
Is just what I reflect
Of the object of my own affection

I'll lead you to the One I found
He'll give you everything you need

Repeat Chorus

It's understandable to want a hero
But people can't meet all your expectations
Still some can teach you things about the love He brings
Just know the source of life is in the Savior

I'll lead you to the One I found
He'll give you everything you need

Repeat Chorus

He's the One who lived a perfect life
He's the One who always gets it right
He's the One and only guiding light, Ohh, yeah
He is everthing you want to be
He's the answer to your every need
If you follow Him then you will see He's like no other

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